He never gives up; he’s always there
Fighting for freedom over land and air …

Today, as the new G.I. Joe movie premieres in theaters across the world, Overthinking It takes a moment to honor our favorite real (fake) American heroes. These men and women, through fictional heroism and quiet devotion, inspired us to believe in our country. Whether depicted in movies, or TV shows, or comic books, they were the cultural embodiment of a literal ideal.

Join us today in saluting these Real (Fake) American Heroes.

[This week's Think Tank is inspired by an article in the New York Times describing fans' fixation with one of the most famous pieces of furniture in fiction, Captain Kirk's chair from the original Star Trek TV series. The Overthinking It writers offer their own choices for the greatest furniture in fiction--vote for your favorite at the end of the article, and suggest your own in the comments.]

Superman’s Bed (Superman II)
by Belinkie

I’m not talking about the bed Clark Kent has in his Metropolis apartment. That bed is probably utterly uninteresting. Nice hard mattress, plain white sheets, maybe boxes of sweaters stored underneath. But the bed in the Fortress of Solitude is pretty fascinating.

The Fortress grows from a single Kryptonian crystal in the first Superman film, and until the midpoint of Superman II, we have no reason to believe there’s anything in there that’s not a crystal. “Minimalist” is a good word for it. In fact, they joke about this earlier in the film, when Lex Luthor sets foot in Superman’s inner sanctum. ”It has everything!” he exclaims in wonder. ”Not everything,” Miss Tessmacher grumbles. Lex sighs. “Why didn’t you go before we left?” ”That was two days ago.” (POSSIBLE ISSUE TO OVERTHINK LATER: What are the odds that Lex made it from Metropolis to the North Pole in only two days, traveling largely by balloon?)

The Fortress has definite grandeur, but it is short on creature comforts. Or is it? Because in the middle of Superman II, we suddenly see the Man of Steel and Lois snuggling in a vast expanse of silvery fabric.

I suppose Superman could have lugged a bed up there from the Metropolis Crate and Barrel. But the weird shiny fabric suggests suggests this bed came with the fortress. This is a traditional Kryptonian bed. And it drives me crazy, because we never really get a look at it beyond a couple closeup shots. Is it a rectangle, or the shape of the Superman emblem? Is it 20 feet wide? Is that fabric some sort of alien material that breaths like cotton but insulates like wool?

And if the Fortress of Solitude has a freakin’ bed, then what else does it have? A night table? A dresser? A microwave? You know, despite Miss Tessmacher’s earlier grumbling, I’m going to assume that the Fortress actually does have a bathroom. Because even if Superman himself doesn’t pee, or has some sort of super bladder that can hold it for months, I doubt he’d take Lois to an igloo with no plumbing for their first date.

National Public Radio. This American Life, specifically.

This radio show, made famous for its true-life storytelling on subjects ranging from building superintendents to summer camp, occasionally dabbles in the world of fiction. Very occasionally, they dabble in the world of superhero fan fiction. They’ve done so on at least 2 different occasions, both with stories by writer Jonathan Goldstein:

Episode 198: “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” A sad-sack man tells what it’s like to date Lois Lane after her break-up with Superman… while also serving as Superman’s ineffectual sidekick. It’s not easy being Superman’s sidekick, especially when he starts hitting on your girlfriend. Luckily, he finds a comforting soul in Clark Kent.

Episode 241: “20 Acts in 60 Minutes.” The Penguin and Mary Poppins compare notes on umbrella flight techniques only to find they have little in common. To make matters worse, Mary loses interest in the Penguin and strikes up a conversation with Bruce Wayne about controlled jumps off of buildings.

Note that we have at least two violations of Mlawski’s rules on good fanfic: both stray far from the mood and style of their original sources, and the second one crosses over two different fictional universes. Fortunately, these rules aren’t hard and fast; besides, more conventional fanfic wouldn’t really work in the context of, you know, NPR.

Readers: what are some other unlikely sources of fanfic, superhero or otherwise, that you’ve found?

Well, it’s official.  According to A.O. Scott, one of the main film critics of the New York Times, superheroes are SO OVER.  Well.  I guess there won’t be anymore superhero movies, then.

Okay, so we all know that’s not going to happen.  But I kind of have to agree with Scott on some level.  The Dark Knight may have been so good that it ended a certain type of superhero movie thread.  This is the thread that Scott describes in his article: the one where the superhero runs after the villain for the first two-thirds of the movie, then they finally have a showdown in which the villain and superhero are revealed to be “not so different,” and then the superhero kicks the villain’s ass.  I agree with Scott that the ass-kicking part is the least interesting part of this kind of film.

So where does this leave superhero movies?  Are they so over?  If not, what kind of superhero film will replace the Dark Knight model?  If so, what will take their place?  My ideas are below the fold…