This is no longer provocative.

and, more importantly, with its world dwelling in a cultural space between irrelevance and exhaustion, I think it’s about time that we, perhaps a year or two late, declare that hipsterism is over.

And I don’t mean “so over” over, using an epistemology incapable of refuting itself. I mean over like when your mom has come over to your friend’s house and you’re six and it’s been time to go for ten minutes and she’s starting to get pissed. “It’s over, Peter, get in the car,” over.

And as with the fall of all great empires, that makes this time for armchair anthropologists to pick apart its corpse. Or, if we’re feeling less like vultures or consider trucker hats less than Imperial — make fun of its former halfhearted iconoclasm. Resistance is, after all, futile.

My take on why the reason you like your Thundercats shirt now is fundamentally different from why you liked your Thundercats shirt in 2002, plus why ‘90s techno will never die, after the jump —

“Hey, wax on, wax off! Hey buddy, wax on, wax off!”

If I’d heard that all the time as a kid, I’d probably get pretty damned tired of it, too. Especially if I were hyper-aware that I was hearing it because I was an Asian kid. And not Japanese either, Goddammit! I’m not, but I sympathize.

There’s no question that Kensuke Miyagi occupies a special place in the pantheon of Asian-American stereotypes, and that he’s a locus of cultural antipathy, especially among Asian-Americans.

But that antipathy is unfortunate. Not just because it is born of pain, but also because Mr. Miyagi as he appears in The Karate Kid (and not as he appears in the larger cultural phantasmagoria, or for that matter, the latter Karate Kid sequels), is not nearly so narrow or offensive a caricature.

A defense of Miyagi, and more on why that defense is important, follows…

Thanks to everyone who submitted to the First Annual Overthinkingit Linda Hamilton Memorial Women In Action Screenwriting Contest. Our judges are hard at work scrutinizing the entries and preparing to
pick the winner!

Expect the big news and discussion in December.

Sorry to once again be the (late) bearer of bad news, but the (late) Bard of Brachiosaurs, Michael Crichton, has died. Barring a mosquito that drank his blood on a beach vacation, then rested on a tree only to be stuck in the sap, trapped in amber, and preserved for millions of years until his DNA is extracted and cloned by intelligent lizard-scientists, the author of Jurassic Park will not give us any more books.

This news came as a surprise — Crichton apparently kept his cancer pretty secret, and he was only 66, but even though he’s a pretty major figure in our culture (at least I think so), he’s not really a celebrity, so I guess the surprise that he had been gravely ill and was no more was in itself not especially surprising.

I mean, everybody’s gotta go sometime, right? And if you’re going to go, better to go, you know, after your medical practice and after your big basketful of bestselling novels have pretty much all been made into generally classy movies of a variety of success ranging from “meh” to (somewhat briefly) “highest grossing movie ever.”

What I’m saying is that he had a good run, and I wish we could all do as much for people as Michael Crichton did.

If I may indulge, a few personal thoughts on Mr. Crichton’s achievements, what he’s meant to me, and why I’m sad to see him go…

Last weekend, America’s #1 and #2 movies were the PS2-inspired cop drama Max Payne and the Madagascar/Kangaroo Jack tequila-inspired love child, Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Part of me can’t help but see this as a missed opportunity –

As any millennium generation video gamer knows, sometimes what a John Woo/Wachowski Brothers-inspired police detective fighting impossible odds really needs is an uncannily smart dog, and what an uncannily smart dog having adventures out in the big city really needs is a dark conspiracy of power and corruption that requires it to crawl through mazes and push buttons with its nose.

More on dogs, antiheroes, antihero dogs and Dead to Rights, after the jump –

Overthinkers, today I’ll leave off the deep analysis and instead turn to some heavy lifting.

It’s something that I can only do after years of training, but it’s something you all need to be able to do. It’s your duty.

I don’t want to hear any of you thinking to yourselves, “Wait, is that the theme song to Family Ties? Wait, no, I think it’s Growing Pains. I’m certain. I think.” ever again.

FAMILY TIES

GROWING PAINS

Probably half your generation ask themselves that question at least once a year. Only you can help them.

Once you’re sure you’ve got it - and I mean really sure you’ve got it, be proud. You are now an overthinker. The best is ready to begin! Sha la la la!

Click through for your reward!

DIMENSION X — In a move sure to put millions of ninjas back to work worldwide, Lord Krang announced an agreement on a bold rescue plan to resurrect and fund the world’s largest clan of ninjas. The plan gives the Foot Clan unlimited access to the mighty Technodrome mobile battle station, prosperity-assuring interdimensional portals, peace-of-mind-guaranteeing underground drill transports, and salt-of-the-earth, blue collar hunter-killer “Roadkill Rodney” robot drones.

Krang, a disembodied brain in a robot body (or sometimes a tripod or flying chair) known for financing organized crime in New York City and elsewhere, named former Foot Clan Chief Executive Officer Oroku Saki, known as The Shredder for his aggressive negotiating style and deadly forearm blades, as President of Ninja Operations for the revived Foot Clan, which will be headquartered in Dimension X.

Story continues in Business section –

NEW YORK CITY — Teenagers and turtles alike were shocked this week as Foot Clan Chief Executive Officer Oroku Saki announced that Lord Krang of Dimension X had denied his emergency request for interdimensional portals, drilling transport modules, unlimited Technodrome access and hunter-killer “Roadkill Rodney” robot drones.

“Due to insufficient capital, unprecedented write-downs of turtle-related losses, and a failure to secure additional investment,” announced the Japanese expatriate known as “The Shredder” for his aggressive negotiation tactics and deadly forearm blades, “I regret to inform you that the Foot Clan has filed for bankruptcy protection and will immediately cease ninja operations.”

Story continues in Business section –

The First Annual Overthinking It Linda Hamilton Memorial Screenwriting Contest is going great, but I didn’t give you guys a lot of time. The deadline is now officially extended to October 31.

This means:

If you sent us a submission you’d like to revise, feel free! You’ll be judged on your last submission before the deadline.

If you haven’t submitted yet, GET ON IT. Yes, people are submitting to this contest (and thanks to the folks who sent us stuff so far!), yes it is real, and yes we will actually make at least part of the winning entry.

A quick reminder on the rules:

RULES/HOW YOU DO IT:

1. Write an action movie. It doesn’t have to be long, it doesn’t have to be in any specific format, but it needs dialogue, and it needs action . . .

2. .  . . and it needs characters! Specifically, female characters. The LEAD must be a WOMAN. The MAJORITY of the characters must be WOMEN.

3. Specifically, the parts need to be GOOD PARTS. I want to see interesting, compelling characters with some depth who get to say and/or do interesting things.

4. Your movie should NOT be about MEN or about SEX. Your women can be sexy, but they cannot be EXPLOITATIVE.

5. Your movie must pass the Bechdel test — two women must talk about something other than a man.

6. Making your women LESBIANS just so they can MAKE OUT is CHEATING! Lesbians in general aren’t against the rules, but entries will be judged within the spirit of the contest, so keep that in mind.

7. Email it to womeninactioncontest@gmail.com.

For complete rules and more info, check the original post.

And get going! Don’t just talk about sexism in movies. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

This time around, I don’t think I’ll be able to give our next candidate quite the respect and time it deserves.

It is the most important film about race in America made yet in this young century.

And perhaps I will return to it in the future in even more depth, because it certainly deserves it.

Of course, I’m taking about Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

Consider this the Cliff’s Notes - my short, simple attempt at tackling this cultural touchstone. And of course you choose to use the Cliff’s Notes, because you fail to understand how the competitive landscape of being young in America actually works.

Or perhaps because you know it all too well.

Learn more about that greatest story of the 2000s, the rise of Asia and the Asian-American, and what this remarkable little comedy has to say about it, after the jump –