Overthinkers of the world, unite! You have nothing to open but your threads.

In rap news, Lil’ Wayne began his one-year jail term this week, pleading guilty to attempted weapons possession. The obvious joke is that doing a bid can only help a gangsta’s career, but that actually hasn’t been true. It certainly hasn’t helped Mystikal’s career any, though he only just got out.

Question: what should Lil’ Wayne do with his year off from recording (other than reflect on his crimes, rehabilitate, blah blah etc)?

Mr. Carter entered the following statement in his defense: I keep it real crisp like Kellogg, stack it like Lincoln Logs, then I drive my Lincoln over your dog, dawg.

Second, have we all taken a moment to let our jaws drop over the Tron Legacy trailer? Because really, wow.

Question: A revanchist Alice in Wonderland; a mature Tron sequel; and even that trailer for The Sorceror’s Apprentice looked a little edgy for a movie inspired by a Fantasia cartoon. Has the success of Pirates of the Caribbean inspired Disney to treat its properties in a more adult manner? If so, what does this suggest for the future?

Finally, we doff our bandannas for Corey Haim, who apparently succumbed to a drug overdose earlier this week at the age of 38. Best known for his adolescent attitude in such 80s classics as Lucas, License to Drive and The Lost Boys, Corey had regained some D-list cred by teaming up with Corey Feldman in “The Two Coreys” and a cameo in Crank 2: High Voltage. Fame treats few of us kindly, and young Mr. Haim worse than most.

This is how he'd want us to remember him: making out with Lala Sloatman.

Man, Lil’ Wayne doing a bid, Corey Haim dying: does OTI have any good news this week? As it happens, we do! Overthinking It is sending correspondents to PAX East, Penny Arcade’s East coast convention and gamer expo! OTI staff will be wandering the floor, documenting the happenings on the official Overthinking It Twitter account.

“But Perich,” you’re asking, “how will I recognize the OTI crew? Or how can I identify myself as a loyal Overthinker?” Well, you could always buy an official Overthinking It branded T-shirt!

Well, ACTUALLY ...

Are you coming to PAX East? Do you want to catch up with the Overthinking It staff? Sound off in the comments, since this is your … open thread.

Last week’s episode of Lost was a Jack episode, so you know what that means: it’s Daddy issues time!  I don’t know about you, but I thought Lost had dropped this thread, never to pick it up again, sometime around when Locke and Sawyer strangled Locke’s dad with some rusty chains in the Black Rock.

“Lighthouse,” however, got me thinking that not only are the Daddy issues back at center stage now in season six, but that maybe they’ve been the main theme of the show all along.  The way I see it, Jack’s quest to resolve his relationship with his possibly-evil ghost dad—whether by reconciling with him or destroying him—will resolve his faith vs. science issues, his fate vs. free will issues, and his relationship with Jacob and the Man in Black.

They say God never closes a door without opening up a thread. We’re here to do his work.

A quick rundown of geek hits: rumors fly that The Office’s John Krasinski is in consideration to play Captain America, that Ole Miss will change its mascot to Admiral Ackbar, and that Conan O’Brien has been blowing people away with his Tweets. Sorry; that last one sounded kind of dirty. And yet it’s the story most likely to still be true three months from now. Isn’t that how Hollywood works?

Question: Which actor would you like to play Captain America? Which pop-culture icon should become your school’s mascot?

There's potential for an OTI article here - how long can an Internet meme lay dormant before reviving it again becomes funny? It certainly forces us to IT'S A TRAP! ... sorry. that slipped out.

In less entertaining news, “Growing Pains” actor Andrew Koenig was found dead in a Colorado park yesterday, after having gone missing for several days. Police suspect suicide. His father, Star Trek veteran Walter Koenig, said that Andrew had been dealing with depression for some time. Among child actors who peak early, this isn’t unheard of.

Do you have anything cheerier for us to end on? Then by all means say it! Because this is your … open thread!

[Disclaimer: As you can see, I’ve titled this piece “Season 6 Episode 3” even though everyone else in the world is calling this “Episode 604.”  The reason for this is that I erroneously interpreted the season premiere as one episode when, apparently, it counts as two.  I hope you can enjoy this piece, regardless.]

Lost has always been a show about dichotomies, but maybe never more so than in this week’s episode, “The Substitute.”  In this episode alone we saw dramatized all of our favorite dualisms.  To wit:

• Light vs. dark: Symbolized by the rocks on the scales
• Things you can do vs. things you cannot: Embodied by Alterna-Locke and Un-Locke
• Being trapped vs. being free: Un-Locke again
• Acceptance vs. denial: Alterna-Locke and Alterna-Rose
• Realism (or nihilism, if you want to be dark) vs. faith in miracles

And, beyond that, of course, we have the whole “two timelines” thing going on, allowing us to see two versions of every character operate side-by-side.  So we see Evil Island-Ben looking into the grave of one of the many men he killed and Not-Evil-Evil-But-Still-Kind-of-a-Prick-European-History-Teacher Ben who wants to grab a cup of tea with Locke, his new buddy.  The Bad Luck Hurley of 2007 is now being contrasted with Good Luck Hurley, the easy-going multi-millionaire from 2004, and Rose, who once was the big lover of faith and hope, is now a grim realist.  In fact, we now have two versions of every character, except for Locke, who, being special, gets his very own trinity of selves: Dead Locke (who I like to think of as The Father), Alterna-Locke (who I like to think of as Dead Locke’s spiritual “son”), and Un-Locke (the Unholy Spirit).

Anyway, except in the case of the three Lockes, we’ve seen a lot dichotomies in the last few seasons of Lost, and now it’s coming out big time.

The main question that arises when we think about these dichotomies, of course, is, “Which side is going to win?”  Are the writers ultimately going to side with science or faith?  Fate or free will?  Jacob or the Man in Black?  The 2007 Universe or the 2004 Universe?  And so on.  These are all forms of the same kind of question.

But is that the right kind of question?  My theory for a while has been this: Lost’s writers have been tricking us all along.  They have been manipulating us–nearly forcing us–to look at the world they’ve created as a Manichean Universe, a big ol’ backgammon board with two sets of pieces and a decidedly “black and white” world view.  But this is all a ruse.  In the end, my bet is that Lost’s world isn’t Manichean at all.  It’s a gray, gray, gray, gray world.

Recently, I was “flashing back,” if you will, to last summer, back when I first started watching Lost and writing this crazy column.  Back in June and July, I asked a lot of silly questions: Who are the Others? Can science and faith ever be reconciled? How is Lost’s season two like a game of Civilization IV?

I’m not going to answer any of those questions today.  No, today, the question I want to revisit is the question I asked at the tail end of Lost’s season one: What kind of show is this, anyway?

That question still hasn’t been sufficiently answered.  Back in June, I wondered if Lost was science-fiction, fantasy, or some other genre.  (The answer, it turns out, was “all of the above.”)  Now, in February, I’m wondering something else: Is Lost a “hero’s journey” or a Shakespearean tragedy?  Or is Lost’s narrative something else, entirely—something more interesting?  Something more…subversive?

And good morning to you, Overthinkers. Is that a new sweater? You’ve definitely lost some weight, at least. No? Well, enough of these pleasantries.

In happy news, Steve Jobs announced the iPad in a demonstration earlier this week, Apple’s entry into the undercrowded tablet computer market. The demonstration promised slick graphics, fast loading and 3G access. Everyone’s already made all the “tampon” jokes? The “like an iPhone, but bigger, and it can’t make calls” observations? Okay, good; just making sure the low-hanging fruit was plucked.

Question: what would the iPad need for you to buy one (taking as read “a $100 drop in price”)?

The Apple is always a low-hanging fruit.

In less happy news, the world of academia lost two original Overthinkers this week. First, Howard Zinn, the fiery revisionist historian whose People’s History of the United States remains one of the most accessible counter-cultural texts on American history. Then, in short order, J.D. Salinger, reclusive author of Catcher in the Rye, Franny and Zooey and other school reading assignments. Both took the same sort of hypercritical look at established institutions that Overthinking It plays at – Zinn, with his populist interpretations of history; Salinger, infusing suburban family dynamics with Buddhism. They were tremendous influences on our time.

Question: when a prominent author dies, do you go out and read their famous texts immediately? Or do you wait for the furor to die down? Or does it not make much difference on your reading habits?

I got namechecked in Good Will Hunting. How do you like DEM apples?

And finally, today marks the series finale of Dollhouse, bringing Joss Whedon’s latest attempt at a prime-time series to a close. Fans will doubtless have unanswered questions and bitter recriminations against the Fox network. I just hope people don’t lose respect for Eliza Dushku as a serious actor.

(Note: download our podcast on Monday for Overthinking It’s final thoughts on the series)

Question: what’s the biggest unanswered question about Dollhouse burning in your mind?

I'm trying so hard to avoid a joke about the mannequins upstaging her. So, so hard.

Not a fan of Apple products, academic literature or Dollhouse? Then as far as marketers are concerned, you don’t exist – but you’re still real to us! Tell us what you’d like to talk about, since this is your … Open Thread.

Good morning, Overthinkers! We have had one hell of a week, let me tell you. And I will tell you.

Leading the headlines this week is the continuing battle over the fate of The Tonight Show. As of this writing, rumors – but nothing solid – say that Leno will be taking over The Tonight Show again and that Conan O’Brien will get the boot (with an eight-figure severance package). So if Leno moves to 11:30, who takes the 10:00 slot? Well, we’ve already informed NBC that the smoky-voiced Mark Lee lives in the tri-borough area and has extensive broadcasting experience. Just waiting on that phone to ring.

Question: Where should Conan O’Brien go if he leaves NBC?

Are funny newspaper headlines no longer a draw?

In other sinking-ship news, Simon Cowell announced that he is leaving American Idol following this season in order to host an American version of his British show The X Factor. The X Factor boasts a wider range of contestants, more control by judges, and fewer singers who drop their pants during auditions.

Question: Who should replace the legendarily cold Cowell on the American Idol panel?

A lame reference to this week's auditions? Not impressed, OTI.

On a more serious note, a 7.0 magnitude quake has left (possibly) thousands dead and (definitely) millions stranded in Haiti. Fortunately, the international response has been overwhelming: Wyclef Jean’s Haiti foundation, Yele, as well as the American Red Cross, have been collecting donations via text. We urge every Overthinker to pitch in somewhere, as the extent of this tragedy can’t be overstated.

Question: donating via text seems to be the “new media / crowdsourcing” response to the Haiti crisis. How else could the First World use the global internet/telco backbone to bring aid where it’s needed?

Seriously, there might be one hundred thousand people dead.

Ending on a real downer: the entertainment world said goodbye to punk rocker Jay Reatard and R&B singer Teddy Pendergrass this week. Reatard, 29, born Jimmy Lee Lindsey, was a dynamo in the Memphis punk scene, while Pendergrass, 59, produced several soulful ballads like “Turn Off The Lights.”

Question: Reatard left behind a discography of 22(!) albums, while Pendergrass kept producing hits even after a car accident paralyzed him from the waist down. What excuse are you using to not follow your dreams today?

Anything we forgot? Anything cheerier to add? Sound off in the comments, for this is your … Open Thread.

And good-bye to the working week.

First off, Overthinking It bids farewell to two older icons of the entertainment industry: Jennifer Jones, star of The Song of Bernadette and Duel in the Sun (in the 40s and 50s) and Roy Disney, part owner of the empire of that name. Disney breathed new life into the company’s animation division, helping create gems like Beauty and the Beast and disappointments like Fantasia 2000. Actors who won Oscars for playing saints and pioneers of 2-D animation: they probably weren’t going to like the 21st century much anyway.

Not to take sides on religions, but name the last Oscar-nominated nun.

Second, the Golden Globe nominations were announced earlier this week. Up in the Air sits atop the pile with six nominations. Avatar, The Blind Side, Inglourious Basterds and a dozen movies you’ve never seen nor heard of are also up for awards. House is going up against Season 3 of Mad Men for Best Drama. That guy punching that girl on Jersey Shore? Apparently not dramatic enough.

Question: The Golden Globes have no problem giving comedies their own category (this year’s nominees: (500) Days of Summer, The Hangover, It’s Complicated and Julie and Julia). Why won’t the Oscars?

Nominated for both It's Complicated and Julie & Julia, Meryl Streep is competing against herself this year.

Finally, holy #$%# there’s a new Iron Man 2 trailer and it looks awesome.

Remember when this guy was a believable love interest for Kim Basinger?

Question: are you excited, really excited, or really really excited for Iron Man 2?

And of course, anything else you want to discuss in the comments. This is YOUR … Open Thread.

"What is it, human dude in a giant cat dude's body? Is something wrong?"

By now, you’ve heard the murmurings. You’re polite, so you don’t want to believe it. You have faith in James Cameron. You haven’t seen the movie yet — almost nobody has, and they might still be putting in a few tweaks here and there. It’s not fair to condemn a film before you see it, right? But you probably feel it somewhere yourself. As Galadriel said in her own huge-budget fantasy-fest, “I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air.” As the biggest movie of the winter approaches, I think we all feel a little like Galadriel – or at least that we hear the whispers of prophesy.

Avatar is going to suck.

Maybe it will be entertaining. Maybe it will have fun parts. Maybe, in the end, it will be worth the $11.50 or whatever it costs for you to see a movie these days. But it’s still going to suck.

Like me, I’m sure you hope you’re wrong; but it’s time to discount the possibility — roll it around in our minds and get used to it — so that, when the movie actually comes out, if it turns out to be about as good as it probably will be, it is met with pleasant surprise rather than crushing disappointment.

This process seems to already have begun in the Jungian collective subconscious, but I don’t mind jogging it along a bit.

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the Blue Corn Moon? Have you ever watched the lesser Gundam properties? The top five reasons why Avatar will suck await . . .

“I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, that the less we use our power the greater it will be.”

— Thomas Jefferson

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“The spirit of enterprise, which characterizes the commercial part of America, has left no occasion of displaying itself unimproved.”

— Alexander Hamilton

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“Excuse me, I have to go. Somewhere there is a crime happening.”

— Robocop

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I had always intended for the second installment of this oldest and most waited-for (if not awaited) Overthinking It series to be about a character I have often described as the Quintessential American Tragic Hero: Alex Murphy, a.k.a. Robocop from the truly excellent Paul Verhoeven film of the same name. Then, of course, other things happened.

Well, this is VerhOeverthinking It week, and as Darren Aronofsky will hopefully showcase for us Robocop’s durability — both as a cinematic subject and as a cybernetic apparatus — so will I persevere in hewing to one of my earliest intentions on this site.

Let us venture into the glory, the flaws, the fall and the suffering of that bechromed bulwark of semivoluntary justice — the American who is Half Jeffersonian, Half Hamiltonian, All Cop.

Do you want to learn more? Well, dead or alive, you are coming with me –