Peter Fenzel, Mark Lee, and Matthew Wrather open their mouths to be force-fed mind-bending sci-fi action in Luc Besson’s Valerian and the City of A Thousand Planets, but ending up sending the meal back to the kitchen. It’s hard out here for a space pimp, but the word “problematic” doesn’t even begin to describe some of this movie’s issues. Set aside the genocided indigenous alien economy. Set aside the alien race of fat Polinesian cannibal savages. What the hell is Rihanna doing as an illegal immigrant, indentured servant, stripper?
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I wanted to like this film so much, but it hurt me. It really did. I could not stay invested. Rihanna’s character was the only thing I liked. I love shape-shifting characters! I wanted to know more about her. She was super sympathetic. And then she just dies for reasons.
I suspect the criticisms of this film would be way stronger if anyone had bothered to watch it.