Greatest Gunfight (While Holding a Baby) [Think Tank]

Potemkin Redux. And Redux. And Redux.

Belinkie, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

I will leave it to legal scholars to debate whether a fight in which only one person uses a gun constitutes a gunfight. To me, one gun is enough to qualify. And it definitely qualifies if that gun is perhaps the most powerful handgun ever depicted on film: the Big Baby.

This is a shotgun that fires shells the size of your fist. Plus, it’s probably constructed out of enchanted steel and blessed by the Pope, since this is Hellboy we’re talking about.

Perich, Series 7: The Contenders

Series 7: The Contenders is a 2001 movie that wavers between “just clever enough” and “too clever for its own good.” It stars Brooke Smith, whom most folks recognize as the kidnap victim from Silence of the Lambs. But apparently she’s had recurring roles in Grey’s Anatomy, Weeds and Crossing Jordan, as well.

You can watch Series 7: The Contenders online completely legally – Google hosts it! The gunfight in question is the absolute first scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjiTpk-IgU4

I picked this one for two reasons:

  1. The woman involved (Brooke Smith) is “holding” a baby in that she’s eight months pregnant. This subverts the traditional trope of “gunfighter holding baby,” which plays up the contrast between a shooter willing to throw themselves in harm’s way and the baby they have to protect. If you’re pregnant, then you protect the unborn child by protecting yourself. There’s no dichotomy anymore. Stay behind cover – or, in this case, ambush someone cleverly – and both you and the baby stay safe.
  2. The gunfight in question is shockingly brief. It’s a deliberate deconstruction of the Hollywood notion of a gunfight. Rather than people standing in broad daylight plugging away (American-style), or leather-clad assassins flinging themselves across rooms (Hong Kong-style), the attacker stalks up on the victim and puts one in his shirt, followed by one in his face. That’s cold. That’s a convenience store execution worthy of The Wire. And that’s real.

This raises the question: is it strictly fair to label a deconstructionist take on “gunfight with baby” the best gunfight with a baby? It’s a lot like calling Unforgiven the greatest Western or Watchmen the greatest comic book – they only work because they have generations of prior media to reflect on and take apart. I guess it’s up to the voters to decide!

8 Comments on “Greatest Gunfight (While Holding a Baby) [Think Tank]”

  1. Jonathan #

    Willow is just….inspired! If only fenzel could have shoehorned Madmartigan, the single greatest swordsman ever, into his post…

    Reply

  2. Darin #

    German Hard Boiled, that’s got to be best breakfast ever!

    I went with Children of Men. It’s got tank shells going through walls with a baby involved. Tank shells beat deconstructionist faux reality TV shows by about 146mm (155mm tank minus the 9mm Beretta she’s using).

    Reply

  3. perich OTI Staff #

    It’s a little ridiculous how few of these gunfights actually involve shooters holding babies.

    Reply

  4. adaam93 #

    Children of Men. Because A) the baby is relevant to the story, B) the battle is one of the most intense I’ve ever seen in cinema, and C) long-takes are uber-cool.

    Reply

  5. fenzel #

    Wow, I’ve seen _The Contenders_! Years ago, late at night on HBO.

    That is one low-budget movie with some low rent production values, but you can tell it was a labor of love.

    And sorry Jonathan, while I was typing my post Madmartigan was busy outside fighting the giant troll/dragon monster.

    Reply

  6. dave #

    Hardboiled ahs a pretty intense gunfight while holding a baby, and it takes place inside of a hospital.

    Reply

  7. Gab #

    If only there had been a baby involved in _Unforgiven_, since that is, indeed, my favorite western.

    Alack, alas, ’tis not the case. I went with _Children of Men_, too.

    Reply

  8. babybiceps #

    Immediately thought of Lek (Leak) a Dutch crime movie from 2000. Devoted father and drug dealer Jack shoots his way out of an ambush strapped with his 8-month old kid in a frontal carrier bag.

    Actor got the highest Dutch acting performance award for the role.

    Reply

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