At our Geek Week live performance in May, we debuted an epic Bane-themed parody of the epic Guns ‘n’ Roses song “November Rain.” We were capturing the anxiety of the moment: the disappointment that Bane, and not a better-known Batman villain was chosen, the concern over Bane’s muffled voice, and most of all, the fear that the movie couldn’t live up to its impossibly high expectations.
Now that the movie is upon us and the reviews are in, it appears that those fears are largely unfounded and that the movie will be a resounding success. But we still felt it important–nay, necessary–to memorialize the collective anxiety of that moment in the form of a proper recorded song and music video.
Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I present to you “Remember Bane.”
Special thanks to Fenzel and Stokes for help with the lyrics, and Wrather and Sheely for accompanying me for the live performance in May.
When I look into his muzzle, I can see a man deranged
But Nolan, when I see him, I have to ask, hey, what’s his name, oh yeah
I know he’s not the Joker, Mr. Freeze, or Hugo Strange
And it’s hard to fear for Batman, when I don’t remember Bane.
We’ve been through this such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the pain (of Batman and Robin)
But Riddler or the Penguin, Poison Ivy, Catman
Harley Quinn or Two-Face could have been okay, o-kay
If you had the time to render CGI, Health Ledger hologram
Would have blown my mind…Make me rewind…
So if you make a sequel, then Nolan don’t refrain
(But) For now I’m disappointed, ’cause I don’t care much for Bane
Could you pick someone better-known?
Maybe Catwoman, on her own
I wish that you had picked someone, better known
Oooooh, even King Tut from the Adam West showww
I know it’s hard to keep an open mind
When even fanboys want to harm you
But even if I had an open mind
I still can’t understand his di-a-loooooogue
And when my fears subside I watch the trailer again, oh yeah
I still can’t understand him and my speakers aren’t to blame
So never mind my nitpicks, in the end I’ll still complain
Disappointment is forever, I can’t understand the Bane.
Don’t you think that he needs subtitles?
Don’t you think he should be redubbed?
Nobody understands him!
I’m not the only one!
I’m not the only one!
Bane has always been one of my favorite Batman villains, and I remember leaving the theater after I first saw “The Dark Knight”, when my brother and I speculated on who the third movie’s villain would be. He said Catwoman, I said Bane. While we both ended up being correct (to the extent that Catwoman is ever a villain), nothing says overwhelming force like Bane. I just hope this movie will make him as memorable to the general populace as he is to me.
Sorry, I should have been clearer. It’s not that I dislike Bane and am personally channeling my dislike into this song. The idea was to take the sense of anxiety that is/was undeniably being expressed and capture it in this song.
And to combine Guns ‘n’ Roses with Batman in any way possible.
Oh, I know that a creative work does not necessarily reflect the personal viewpoints of its creator (at least at a cursory level), but it still makes me sad that there are people out there who think that The Penguin is a better villain than Bane.
Well, I’m definitely going to kill you guys. No, it’s not because I’m a Batman (technically speaking it should be “The Batman”) fanboy – I mean the whole silly storyline was shopworn before Adam West got to it in the early 1960’s for Stan Lee’s-sake. Rather it’s because I’m an Axl Rose fanboy and I fly into a homicidal rage when people don’t properly respect his music. Actually, how cool would have it been to had Axl as the villain for this movie? – although Slash really looks more like a super-villain. Truthfully it wouldn’t have worked out because it would have taken Nolan 14 years and $400 million to have completed the shoot with Axl as a principal. Anyway, love you, love the show and start getting your affairs in order. Cheers!
Batman in therapy! Hysterical Parody!