Here at Overthinking It, we’ve been talking about a disturbing trend in advertising for several years. We saw several (nine, to be exact) instances of this in last Saturday’s Super Bowl. Here’s an example:

Advertiser: Doritos

Message: “Eating Doritos will get you shocked by a dog.”

Huh? Why is this a good thing? How is this supposed to sell Doritos? Well, we’re not really sure, but we’ve coined a phrase that aptly describes this perplexing phenomenon:

“Bad Things Happen To You When You Use Our Product.”

Let’s explore this trend further with some more examples.

I had no choice. My health insurance wouldn't pay for anyone else.

My doctor recently diagnosed me with Terminator: Salvation induced post-traumatic fanboy stress disorder (TSIPTFSD–if it’s not in the DSM yet, it will be soon). The treatment regimen consists of repeatedly watching Terminator and Terminator 2 until the names “McG” and “Sam Worthington” no longer send me into an apoplectic rage.

So far it’s going OK (the apoplectic rage that resulted from me typing those words only lasted five minutes this time), but one of the unfortunate side effects of this treatment is that I’m starting to nitpick the hell out of these movies, more so than they probably deserve (see also: motto of this site). Take, for instance, the famous ”hasta la vista, baby” scene from Terminator 2 in which Ahnuld shoots the frozen T-1000 and shatters him into a million pieces.

This seems like a poor tactical decision. Sarah Connor and Ahnuld are both injured. John isn’t much good in a fight. Their adversary is frozen pretty damn solid and isn’t going anywhere. Why don’t they run away, fix themselves up, and fight later?

Instead, he shoots the frozen T-1000 and shatters it into pieces. Okay, I know he needed to deliver a catchy one-liner, but look what happens. Moments later, the T-1000 quickly thaws out and reconstitutes itself.

Shouldn’t Ahnuld have known that the T-1000 would thaw out faster when shattered?

Here’s a better idea: why not take the frozen T-1000, pick it up, and just dunk it into the nearest convenient molten steel vat? It’s frozen. It’s not going anywhere. Its’s completely vulnerable.

Inspired by yesterday’s post on the literary significance of Choose Your Own Adventure novels, our own Mark Lee decided to revisit some significant historical adventures:

How about you, Overthinkers? Do you have a love of the classics and a copy of Photoshop? Submit your own Choose Your Overthought Adventure in one of the following ways:

• Upload it to your own image-hosting site (Flickr, Photobucket, your own site) and post the link in the comments; or
• E-mail it to the editors.

Join in the fun! Uncover the mystery! Choose from two possible endings!

Update: in lieu of a Photoshop cover, we will accept a (written) sample page from the book, with some appropriate choices of where to turn to at the end. But be creative!

What is it about this guy that makes him look so goofy?

Love him or hate him, it’s safe to say that Nic Cage is a decidedly uneven actor, or at least that the movies he’s in are all over the map. The same filmography that has critically acclaimed character pieces like Adaptation and Leaving Las Vegas also has disposable mindless fare like Ghost Rider and National Treasure II: Book of Gratuitous Sequels.

Critics have been debating the relative merits of Cage for years, but the recent discovery of the “Nic Cage as Everyone” blog, which gleefully toes the line between tribute and mockery, has stirred the fires of Cage-troversy once again.

Words cannot describe how strange this is.

So are Nic Cage movies crap, or what? When we say his movies are all over the place, just how all over the place are they?

Thankfully, we have our friends IMDB, Excel, and Standard Deviation* to answer that question for us. That’s right, it’s time to analyze the Quanta of Cage.

First, our methodology: let’s take the movies of Nicolas Cage (everything that he’s starred in, excluding animated movies and anything released in 2009), analyze those movies’ IMDB ratings, and compare them to other leading men from his era.

It’s not perfect, but it’s what we’ve got. So let’s crunch some numbers, shall we?

*Standard disclaimer applies: I Am Not A Statistician (IANAS). If I made any mistakes, feel free to give me the “Well, actually” in the comments.

Mark Lee hosts with Pete Fenzel and Jordan Stokes to overthink the allegory of the Simpsons anniversary episode, the last twenty years of the show, and why Disco Stu can’t have his own episode.

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Download Episode 80 (MP3)

"Mmm...macroeconomics"

[Special thanks to Stokes for coming up with the concept for this D'OHverthinking It post. - Lee]

It’s often said that the Simpsons are intended to be an iconic representation of typical lower-middle class Americans. The father works a semi-skilled blue collar job, and they own a home and two cars, but they’re always a little short on money, and their financial problems have often been used as major and minor plot points in the series.

But “The Simpsons” is an episodic TV show–that is, plot elements typically don’t carry over into future episodes. Granted, there are some exceptions (the death of Maude Flanders being a notable one), but for the most part, problems that arise in one episode are resolved in that episode, and that’s that.

The same holds true for the Simpsons’ financial problems. Someone in the family (usually Homer, but often Marge) makes an unsound financial decision, pays the consequences of that decision for the duration of the episode, and is finally saved from that situation through implausible but humorous plot devices. Problem solved. Subsequent episodes may mention other specific or general financial difficulties, but never the lasting ramifications of past mistakes or hardships.

Sounds familiar? Like how for the last twenty years, consumers and individuals kept borrowing money to solve problems until the credit stopped flowing?

[Yes, we are technically on hiatus. But here was a breaking story that couldn't wait to be overthought. —Ed.]

Font snobs around the world recoiled in horror upon seeing the font “Papyrus” used in the movie posters for James Cameron’s Avatar.

But that wasn’t the end of the horror for the Font Snobs: James Cameron wasn’t content with using Papyrus in the movie poster; he went as far as to use it as the font for all of the subtitles in the movie!

Now, I sympathize with these Font Snobs. It’s a hokey font. But all I have to say is, James Cameron’s taste in fonts could be worse. Imagine if this were the poster…

R&B singer Chris Brown has been something of a pariah since the Rihanna assault incident earlier this year. He’s back with a new album, and if you take a look at the cover, it will come as no surprise to our readers that it caught my attention:

Yup, that’s Chris Brown with what appears to be a Terminator-esque metal endo-skeletal hand, not to mention the liquid metal T-1000 spelling the name of the album in the lower right hand corner.

But this Chris Brown/Terminator connection is only the beginning. Some investigation revealed more strange connections in the world of romantically connected R&B singers and science fiction movies with robots. Behold, a Venn Diagram:

See how it all comes together, after the jump:

VerhOeverthinking It week may be over, but a lot of the analysis we did on the work of filmmaker Paul Verhoeven carries over into other areas of the popular culture, such as music. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Steel Panther, the Starship Troopers of Heavy Metal.

1985 called. It wants its...everything...back.

Our Paul Verhoeven Theme Week continues with the ultimate “Total Recall” debate.

In case you needed a reminder, this man is now the Governor of California.

MELINA (overwhelmed): Quaid, I can’t believe it…It’s like a dream.

On hearing her words, Quaid’s expression turns grim and confused.

MELINA (CONT’D): What’s wrong?

QUAID

I just has a terrible thought…What is this is all a dream?

MELINA

Then kiss me quick…before you wake up.

Those are the last lines from “Total Recall.” Since those words were uttered and the final credits rolled, fans have been debating their meaning: was the whole thing after Quaid sits down for his Rekall session just a dream?