Matthew Wrather hosts with Peter Fenzel, Mark Lee, and Josh McNeil to answer listener questions, including such topics as fan fiction, the Internet on TV, our scriptural bent, procedural television, and the probable casting of the inevitable Catcher in the Rye movie.

→ Download Episode 87 (MP3)

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Matthew Wrather hosts with Peter Fenzel and Mark Lee, with special guest podcaster Lindsay Eanet. Topics include Comic-Con, fandom, vampires, and dudes who date fictional characters.

To join the debate on real vs. pretend people, first visit the New York Times article “Love in 2D.”

Tell us what you think! Email us or call 20-EAT-LOG-01—that’s (203) 285-6401. And… spread the overthinking by forwarding this episode to a friend!

Download Episode 56 (MP3)

INTERVIEW ROOM

A middle-aged man in a shirt and tie faces the camera. He looks kinds of like Steve Carell.

MATTHEW: My name is Matthew Schott. For the past four years, I’ve been producing a documentary TV series about a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I wanted to call it “Paper Tigers,” but corporate didn’t like it.

Warning: Spoilers for Wall Street and Kill Bill within.

From the “too long to Twitter but too dumb to be an OTI feature” files comes this interesting question: is the classic 80’s film, Wall Street, a prequel to the Oughties classic, Kill Bill?  Or, in other words, does Bud Fox from Wall Street grow up to become Bud from Kill Bill?  Maybe only Daryl Hannah could tell us for sure, but I tend to think so.  Here’s my evidence:

In Wall Street, up and comer, Bud Fox, throws his lot in with evil capitalist Gordon Gekko.  Gekko, in turn, introduces Bud to Daryl Hannah, a beautiful blonde who seems too good to be true.  Bud soon falls for Daryl, unaware that she is in cahoots with an evil older man (Mr. Gekko).  In fact, Daryl once even dated Gekko, and her livelihood depends on him.

But…

“Your future is what you make it,” Doc Brown tells Marty, “so make it a good one!” Then he zooms off in his whimsical flying train. Happy ending!

Except no, no it’s not. Marty McFly has no future, because of two big issues hanging over his head at the end of the trilogy:

I think one of the things that makes Miyagi so cool is that he’s largely an enigma. Does anyone know how he made the money to afford all those antique cars? And if he’s so rich, why’s he working as a handyman? Then, there’s the allusion to his military service. Personally, the idea of Mr. Miyagi at war always fascinated me.  He’s an unstoppable badass as an old man; how much ass could he have kicked in his prime, if he had something to fight for?

About three years ago, I decided to write a WWII action movie. One of the characters is a young private named Kesuke Miyagi. He’s fighting in Italy when he hears that his wife has died in childbirth. Furious at America for keeping her in an internment camp, he deserts his unit to go drown his sorrows. When the Military Police try to take him in, he lashes out and almost kills one of them. He’s court-martialed and sentenced to death. But a Major who’s familiar with Miyagi’s karate skills offers him a deal: go on a dangerous mission behind enemy lines, and maybe you’ll get a pardon. (Yes, I’ve seen The Dirty Dozen, what of it?)

In the scene below, the Major and Miyagi take advantage of an air raid in Munich to barricade themselves in a bomb shelter with a group of military wives, who they hope can lead them to their target. And now, without further ado, here’s an excerpt from The Man Who Killed Hitler.

…please enjoy 99 pieces of Buffy/West Wing Fan Fiction.

Don’t believe me? There’s an excerpt from “And Who Does CJ Call?” by MadamAuthor after the jump.

Is it possible to tell a single story that incorporates every major movie that came out this summer? Let’s find out.

PROLOGUE

A stylish woman sits in a coffee shop, typing on her laptop. We hear a familiar voiceover:

“Sometimes, it seems like every man is an action hero… until the clothes come off.

“Take my new squeeze – let’s call him Bruce. Billionaire. Playboy. Sure, he lives in Gotham, and I’m not a huge fan of long distance relationships… but a private jet has a way of bringing people together. However, there was one place Bruce had never taken me in two months of dating: the bedroom. As soon as night fell, he would suddenly say he had a lot of work to do and send me home. If he tries that one more time, I’m sleeping with the butler.

“Samantha was having her own problems. Tony was legendary for his sexual exploits – rumor has it he’d been gradually working his way through the entire cast of Gossip Girl. But recently, he had been spending all day in his basement workshop, leaving Samantha no chance to get her hands on his, um, lug nuts. He may have been the CEO of Stark Enterprises, but he wasn’t boldly going where no man had gone before.

“Miranda wasn’t doing much better. Her boyfriend – let’s call him Bruce too – was a scientist, even more of an overeducated wolkaholic than her. But whenever she tried to ignite his Bunsen burner, he’d say it was a bad idea to get him excited, leaving her in an incredible sulk. She even shelled out for an appointment with the legendary Love Guru, but not only didn’t he help, they found him unbearably annoying. It wasn’t exactly a Banner summer for her sex life.

“The one person who seemed satisfied was Charlotte. She was dating some mystery man, and none of us had ever seen her so relaxed. But she wouldn’t tell us a thing about him.

“I had to wonder… do ALL men have secret identities?”

Movies introduced in this chapter: Sex and the City, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, The Love Guru

I’m currently trying to come up with a plot that ties in every single summer movie this year. It’s tricky – there are a LOT of summer movies.

While I’m cooking that up, here’s a similar mashup from last summer. I’m actually pretty proud of this. Maybe prouder than I should be.

CHAPTER 1

It’s Bart Simpson’s eleventh birthday, and the family is driving to New York so he can tour the offices of Mad Magazine. Along the way, the car has been followed by owls trying to drop envelopes in the windows.

On the Brooklyn Bridge, they’re attacked by witches on broomsticks. The Simpsons don’t know it, but this is a group of Death Eaters, led by Bellatrix Lestrange. Spider-man swings in to help, trapping Lestrange in a web, but he’s outnumbered and soon overpowered. Just when it seems that he and the Simpsons are doomed, a gigantic boat rises out of the Hudson River. It’s the legendary Flying Dutchman, and it fires magical cannonballs that chase the witches away. The Simpsons are taken aboard the ship, and its captain introduces himself as Jack Sparrow, Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts.

Aboard the Dutchman, now safely underwater, Sparrow answers some questions. He explains that he’s hundreds of years old, immortal thanks to the Fountain of Youth. Apparently, a new prophesy says that in the final battle between Voldemort and Harry Potter, the winner will be decided by a first year wizard with yellow skin and spiky hair. Sparrow was sent by Dumbledore to escort Bart and his family safely to the school, before Voldemort could kill him. “I’m afraid you’ll all be living at Hogwarts for a while. Savvy?”

“Mmm,” says Homer. “Hog.”

Movies introduced in this chapter: The Simpsons, Harry Potter, Spider-Man 3, Pirates of the Caribbean