[The series by Matthew Belinkie continues. —Ed.]
The Movie: Sin City
Why It Strains Credulity:
Rourke is a professional boxer. And I don’t mean that he’s a professional boxer in the way that Russell Crowe is a professional musician. Rourke actually quit acting for a while to concentrate fully on boxing. He has been arrested for spousal abuse, and once gave a drug dealer a concussion.
Elijah Wood is a hobbit with the cheekbones of a little girl. According to Wikipedia, he smokes clove cigarettes. In fact, Elijah Wood may be the single least intimidating person in Hollywood, and that includes Dakota Fanning.
Special Bonus Implausibility: Elijah Wood’s character wears a Charlie Brown shirt.
The Fight:
Actually, they fight twice.
Fight #1:
Mickey Rourke has been beating his way up the food chain to find out who killed his one night stand. He goes to a mysterious farm and discovers a human-looking bone. But his CSI moment is interrupted by a jump kick to the face. “That’s impossible,” his internal monologue whines. “Nobody can sneak up on me.” But Elijah Wood is a sneaking expert – don’t forget, he snuck into Mordor.
Wood gives Rourke a couple kung fu kicks and then some razor-sharp nails to the face, blinding him. A sledgehammer to the side of the head knocks him out.
Fight #2:
Rourke returns to the farm for a rematch. He prepares by stringing razor wire between some trees, then gets Wood’s attention with a Molotov cocktail. The little guy hops through a window and dodges a clip full of bullets, then does a flip over the wire. But then he embarrasses himself a little by kicking Rourke’s empty coat, hung on a tree branch as a decoy. Dude, how do you spot the hidden razor wire, and then attack a coat?
Wood kicks Rourke in the face a bunch, but then Rourke plays his ace – he handcuffs the two of them together. Truthfully, I don’t know if this is such a great idea. Considering Rourke has never even managed to lay a finger on the guy, attaching himself to Wood seems like it might be doing him a favor. But it works shockingly well; Rourke connects with a right hook, and that’s all she wrote. Wood’s down, and ready for gristly execution.
But Maybe We Can Buy It Because:
- Well look, there’s nothing necessarily unbelievable about a small guy, skilled in martial arts, beating up a big guy who’s a lot slower. So if you don’t recognize Elijah Wood, this fight works fine.
- Um…
- Er…
Nah, that’s it. Once you know it’s Elijah Wood up there, there’s no way to swallow this.
Fun Trivia:
Elijah Wood and Mickey Rourke shot their scenes separately, and were composited together in post. In fact, Rourke had completed shooting before Wood was even cast.