The writer of Man of La Mancha passed away on December 21. However, in accordance with his wishes, his wife didn’t let anyone know until after Christmas, “so as not to spoil anyone’s holiday.”
A little TOO quixotic. And yeah, I really do think.
(By the way, read to the bottom of the article. Turns out before he was a writer, he was a hobo. Yes: a hobo.)
A while ago, I wrote a review of the book Jack Torrance writes during The Shining. (It’s funny because the novel is just the sentence “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” repeated over and over again.) Now Overthinking It reader Phil Buehler has kicked things up a notch by actually producing the book.
And not only did he write 80 pages of All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy, he made sure each page is formatted in a different delightfully insane way. And he’s blurbed OTI on the back cover. I am disproportionally proud of this.
Sadly, it’s too late to get a copy for Christmas, but I guarantee this will start conversations on the subway. Nice work, Phil.
9:58 - Disclaimer. Even though I photoshopped this, I’m not a Hills fan. But my roommate Dan is. Dan not only watches The Hills, he watches The Hills Aftershow, where a panel dissects the episode that just aired as if it’s a Thomas Pynchon novel. And now he’s watching the new Hills spinoff, The City, popcorn and all, so here we go.
There is no TV with enough pixels to rival the experience of watching a great movie in an actual movie theater. Sorry Samsung, it’s true. I first figured this out when Fenzel and I went to see Superman at a midnight showing years ago. I grew up with that movie, and knew it backwards and forwards… but I’d only ever seen it on VHS. Sitting in a real movie theater, hearing the John Williams score, and seeing that “S” logo ten feet tall completely floored me.
Anyway, last week, I got the chance to see It’s a Wonderful Life projected from a real print. It was scratched as hell and barely audible at times, and I still cried like a baby for at least a third of it. And I also managed to notice a few things to Overthink™.
Anyone who grew up with a controller in his sweaty little hands had at least one moment when a video game touched him emotionally. For some people, it was Sephiroth turning your girlfriend into a shishkabob. For others, it was Snake visiting Arlington Cemetery. But my most mind-blowing gaming experience was when I beat the Double Dragon arcade machine.
Actually, scratch that. I finished it; I don’t think I really beat it.
It was my freshman year of college. One rainy Saturday afternoon, my roommate Joe and I were contemplating the possibility of doing some actual work. Instead, we headed to Cutler’s Records, which had a row of classic arcade machines in the back. Our plan was to use only three dollars in quarters to win Double Dragon (and possibly pick up the new Britney Spears album while we were there).
We watched as the lovely Marian was gut-punched and dragged away by the Black Warriors. Then a garage opened and our two protagonists emerged: Billy and Jimmy, karate masters with tempers as fiery as their mullets. Joe and I cracked our knuckles and proceeded to crack dozens of digital skulls. The fighting raged through the city streets, a factory, a forest, and finally the headquarters of the street gang, which appeared to be some sort of Pagan temple.
Joe and I weren’t particularly adept, and the quarters balancing on the screen started to disappear at an alarming rate. But finally, we entered a room and saw Marian chained to the wall. At this point, we were low on health and cheering each other on loudly enough to scare everyone out of the World Music section of the store, which was probably just as well. A couple of jump kicks later, the last bad guy hit the floor and disappeared. We’d won.
I think one of the things that makes Miyagi so cool is that he’s largely an enigma. Does anyone know how he made the money to afford all those antique cars? And if he’s so rich, why’s he working as a handyman? Then, there’s the allusion to his military service. Personally, the idea of Mr. Miyagi at war always fascinated me. He’s an unstoppable badass as an old man; how much ass could he have kicked in his prime, if he had something to fight for?
About three years ago, I decided to write a WWII action movie. One of the characters is a young private named Kesuke Miyagi. He’s fighting in Italy when he hears that his wife has died in childbirth. Furious at America for keeping her in an internment camp, he deserts his unit to go drown his sorrows. When the Military Police try to take him in, he lashes out and almost kills one of them. He’s court-martialed and sentenced to death. But a Major who’s familiar with Miyagi’s karate skills offers him a deal: go on a dangerous mission behind enemy lines, and maybe you’ll get a pardon. (Yes, I’ve seen The Dirty Dozen, what of it?)
In the scene below, the Major and Miyagi take advantage of an air raid in Munich to barricade themselves in a bomb shelter with a group of military wives, who they hope can lead them to their target. And now, without further ado, here’s an excerpt from The Man Who Killed Hitler.
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So way back in April, I first had the idea of editing together inspirational speeches. Since then, the Dow has dropped 3,000 points and one million jobs have been lost. The people of the United States are now a ragtag bunch of scruffy underdogs, down by three touchdowns at halftime, with a whole horde of orcs waiting for us right outside those locker room doors. Inspiration has become something we need. (By the way, you couldn’t tell because it started the sentence, but “Inspiration” was capitalized.)
What I’m trying to say is, I may have just single-handedly saved the economy with this montage:
[Today we begin Karate Kid Week, an extended consideration of the seminal work of 1980s cinema. --Ed.]
It pained me to type that title. Really, it did, because I love that scrappy kid. He moved to a new town, got the girl, and wore one of the greatest Halloween costumes in history. But I’ve watched his final, dramatic Crane Kick over and over, and I’m convinced that any decent karate judge would have kicked him out of the tournament for it.
9:58 - Disclaimer. Even though I photoshopped 
