At our Geek Week live performance in May, we debuted an epic Bane-themed parody of the epic Guns ‘n’ Roses song “November Rain.” We were capturing the anxiety of the moment: the disappointment that Bane, and not a better-known Batman villain was chosen, the concern over Bane’s muffled voice, and most of all, the fear that the movie couldn’t live up to its impossibly high expectations.
Now that the movie is upon us and the reviews are in, it appears that those fears are largely unfounded and that the movie will be a resounding success. But we still felt it important–nay, necessary–to memorialize the collective anxiety of that moment in the form of a proper recorded song and music video.
Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I present to you “Remember Bane.”
Special thanks to Fenzel and Stokes for help with the lyrics, and Wrather and Sheely for accompanying me for the live performance in May.
Lyrics:
When I look into his muzzle, I can see a man deranged
But Nolan, when I see him, I have to ask, hey, what’s his name, oh yeah
I know he’s not the Joker, Mr. Freeze, or Hugo Strange
And it’s hard to fear for Batman, when I don’t remember Bane.
We’ve been through this such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the pain (of Batman and Robin)
But Riddler or the Penguin, Poison Ivy, Catman
Harley Quinn or Two-Face could have been okay, o-kay
If you had the time to render CGI, Health Ledger hologram
Would have blown my mind…Make me rewind…
So if you make a sequel, then Nolan don’t refrain
(But) For now I’m disappointed, ’cause I don’t care much for Bane
Could you pick someone better-known?
Maybe Catwoman, on her own
I wish that you had picked someone, better known
Oooooh, even King Tut from the Adam West showww
I know it’s hard to keep an open mind
When even fanboys want to harm you
But even if I had an open mind
I still can’t understand his di-a-loooooogue
And when my fears subside I watch the trailer again, oh yeah
I still can’t understand him and my speakers aren’t to blame
So never mind my nitpicks, in the end I’ll still complain
Disappointment is forever, I can’t understand the Bane.
Don’t you think that he needs subtitles?
Don’t you think he should be redubbed?
Nobody understands him!
I’m not the only one!
I’m not the only one!