Things With Bad Names: The Sperm Whale
The sperm whale? Oh ha ha, real mature everybody.
What are we, like twelve? Honestly, this has got to stop.
And in case you thought that maybe “sperm,” in this case, had some sort of esoteric, alternate meaning, no, it doesn’t:
The whale was named after the milky-white waxy substance, spermaceti, found in its head and originally mistaken for sperm.
This is one of the largest, most majestic animals on the planet! It is an animal that people will pay serious money just to get a glimpse of. And it is named after sperm for no good reason.
Unacceptable.
I know that at this point, we’re kind of married to the name. But would people ever be able to accept a “vagina bear”? A “scrotum turtle”? I mean, there’s a monkey with a giant red ass, but do we call it the “ass monkey”?
No we don’t. Because we have a little thing called class.
We can do better, people. Physeter macrocephalus deserves a name that isn’t sperm-related.
Thank you.
Pianodan on Sat, 11th Oct 2008 9:07 am
What about the SPAM whale?
Elver on Sat, 11th Oct 2008 9:15 am
We will call it The Majestic Jizz Fish.
Gab on Sat, 11th Oct 2008 11:53 am
So does this mean we’re all just particles floating around in some giant, cosmic set of fallopian tubes?
Shechner on Sat, 11th Oct 2008 12:34 pm
Yeah! Stick it to the man! And don’t get me started on ‘Homo erectus.’
Peregrin on Sun, 12th Oct 2008 2:21 am
Turtles are called “cooters” in some parts of the country.
Stokes on Sun, 12th Oct 2008 1:22 pm
> But do we call it the “ass monkey”? No we don’t.
Speak for yourself, Matt.
babybiceps on Mon, 13th Oct 2008 3:27 am
Pot Fish? It’s not a fish, but the Dutch call it a “potvis”.