My Friends,
Obviously, the presidential election is our focus right now. But there are other races going on too. Races that deserve our attention. I am, of course, referring to the current battle for the heart and soul of McDonaldland.
On one side is Mayor McCheese. For 37 years, he’s been our head of state (and what a tasty-looking head). But are we really better off now?
Then there’s Grimace, a young reformer full of pretty words. However, not everyone has been won over by his radical proposals:
Recently, the mayoral campaign has turned negative. Grimace has called attention to the numerous scandals plaguing McCheese’s administration:
McCheese has fought back by pointing to Grimace’s mysterious early years, and some of his controversial associates:
This election will doubtlessly determine the course of McDonaldland for years to come, and so I urge you all to take time out of your busy schedules and vote!
Together, we can ensure a brighter McFuture.
McThank you.
[Note: These four commercials were edited by me, with some writing and voiceover help from Mr. Stokes, Mr. Wrather, Mr. Fenzel, and Mr. Shechner. Thank you, gentlemen. Now go vote.]