Recently, I visited a Subway restaurant near where I work. I had been looking forward to a meatball sub. But instead, my stomach was filled only with sadness.

Hearty Italian, my favorite bread, has been discontinued.

Obviously, I’m a very egotistical person, because I had assumed Hearty Italian was the most popular bread of all. Turns out, not so much. It has now been replaced with Garlic Bread. C’mon, Subway! Who wants a sandwich on Garlic Bread? (Answer: More people than want a sandwich on Hearty Italian.)

Anyway, I got the sandwich on Regular Old Plain Italian, and it sucked.

Farewell, Hearty Italian. Now, God gets to eat you.