Non-Existent Sequels You'd Love to See
January 27, 2012 at 1:19 pm #23274
“The Pirate Bride”
It’s been 30 years since Westley and Buttercup ran off to start a new life together. Now, their youngest daughter, Lily, is 17 and already famous for her beauty. Suitors from all over the land are visiting their farm to seek her hand. The problem is she doesn’t want to be a bride. She wants to join her older brother on the high seas, where he’s the latest Dread Pirate Roberts. When the girl runs away from home, it’s up to Westley and Buttercup to find her. They quickly recruit the help of an old friend: Inigo, who now runs a fencing academy in the Thieves Forest.
But what they don’t know is that one of Lily’s suitors is actually a bitter enemy: the son of master criminal Vizzini, seeking revenge for Westley’s poisoning of his father! When Vizzini Jr. gets his hands on Lily, it’s all hands on deck… for adventure! (NOTE: Vizzini Jr. must be played by Jonathan Hodgman. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE SURE OF ANYTHING.)
That’s as far as I’ve gotten. Presumably, there’s got to be a love interest somewhere. Also, every time I try to imagine this movie, it becomes Pirates of the Caribbean, which really isn’t ideal.January 28, 2012 at 2:29 am #23298
The avatar sequel were we come back to Pandora and discover that Jake Sully became the brutal god-king of the planet
I mean he kicked his technological superior rival out
He had loads of na’vi tribes (who the RDA woudn’t have bothered with) slaughtered by having him join his alliance who he completly control.
and he control the wildlife of the planet.
The guy make Walter E. Kurtz look like a fat bastardJanuary 28, 2012 at 9:00 pm #23322
I’d love to see a sequel to The Matrix or Highlander. Those were excellent movies with plenty of great opportunity for a compelling and not at all terrible sequel. Some day.
Also, very VERY yes to John Hodgman as Vizini Jr.
But do you think Justin Long could play Wesley’s older son?January 29, 2012 at 5:20 pm #23348
I was going to make a joke about an Independence Day 2 wherein the aliens have upgraded their firewalls, but of course Hollywood has beaten me to it and a sequel is already in the works.January 29, 2012 at 11:46 pm #23374
The Independence Day 2 thing is a real rumour. That’s pretty scary, and not in the Alien invasion type of way, in the oft overlooked Hollywood revival of a movie over 15 years old for two sequels it doesn’t need with the original director that may or may not star Will Smith but there seems to be absolutely no mention of Jeff Goldblum kind of way. Anyway, I think that a sequel to Paranormal Activity would be cool. In “PA 4″, the main (protagonists?) are a couple who set about making a buck on the whole Paranormal Craze. They set up cameras and turn off the lights. They borrow the neighbours Four year old son and tell him to make funny faces and speak gibberish. The heist is going off great. The kid seems possessed, and the adults are scared as hell. “This will make us so much money!” One of them says in a whiny voice through a grin. So, the hijinks continue until they have enough footage. Ghost hunters by night, terrified parents by day, the couple imagine they’ll be rolling in the dough by next month. Then,-(I don’t know, Ghosts or something)- show up and terrorize the couple with the added stakes of them having to protect someone else’s child. Eventually the panicked couple send the husband out for help, realizing that a stunt they pulled that required cutting their phone lines has caught up with them (and they’re too panicked to remember, or have lost, their cell phones. Alright?). The husband comes back, brutally disfigured and mutilated by the spectres, and he eventually succumbs to his fatal wounds. (A Chestburster ghost?) Fortunately, he returned with help of the best kind, the Ghostbusters. They shoot up the place and the house slowly falls apart around them as they try to bag the pesky poltergeists. Eventually, holed up in the basement, with house falling down around them, the couple discover that cement was poured over top of a grave, and with a final bellow of “We have to cross the streams!”, the Ghostbusters do just that and blow apart the cement around the grave and the ghosts return to their places of burial. Everything works out in the end, except that 5 blocks of the city were also vaporised in the ensuing blast leaving only none alive. The End.January 30, 2012 at 1:49 am #23380
Return to Casablanca: After WWII, everyone returns to Casablanca, and we find out how they all experienced the war through action-packed flashbacks. Rick and Renault fought in North Africa, Italy, and France. They kicked ass and took names. Ilsa thinks Victor was killed by the Nazis, but he once again escapes death and reappears unexpectedly. Sam has created a proto-rap version of “As Time Goes By” and is on top of the pop charts.
I am honestly surprised that a Casablanca sequel has never been made. It seems so obvious.February 2, 2012 at 5:36 pm #23468
Re: the Princess Bride sequel, William Goldman “tried” to write one for the 25th anniversary edition of the novel.
Now, of course, nearly all of the hypertextual things in that book are totally made up, but I think I read in an interview that he did actually consider writing a sequel, after Wesley and Buttercup ran away, but was unable to think of an interesting plotline for it to happen. He did write the first chapter, which was included in that anniversary edition, and it was deeply boring.
Having said all of that, I would totally pay to see the Pirate Bride.February 2, 2012 at 9:42 pm #23476
X-Files 2012. I want to believe. Surely they wouldn’t leave it like they have?February 3, 2012 at 9:20 am #23479
The invention of lying 2: Politics.
Where we found the nemesis of Ricky Gervais, who is also capable of lying, trying to rise to power through the democratic process.
This will escalate in a big election showdown where only the best lie will prevail.February 16, 2012 at 3:35 pm #23837
Murder on the Orient Express 2: I Know What You Did Last Winter
We start where the Sidney Lumet film ends with the passengers of the train toasting each other as Hercule Poirot exits the car … and starts plotting his revenge.
He knew Ratchett was a guilty murderer, but he doesn’t believe for a second that a just result was achieved on the train. Sure, Poirot has years and years of experience with evil people and kept a level head, but it’s rare they get away with it and something about the train makes him snap and start planning to kill the murderers.
Being Hercule Poirot, he knows all the police tricks and can devise the truly perfect crime (much like another famous Agatha Christie killer), but *plot twist* his would-be victims keep disappearing or dying unnaturally before he can set off his traps, but all signs point to him. Now he’s in a race against time to find out who else is targeting the train’s criminals, finish the job, and keep his own name clear.June 5, 2012 at 10:03 pm #25310
Remember at the end of original Texas Chainsaw Massacre when the sole survivor runs into the highway and escapes Leatherface by hopping onto the flatbed of some guys truck?
I think it would be really cool to see a sequel to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre that wasn’t a horror movie. It would follow those two characters and the lives they live in the wake of that.
I mean, lets say the dude drives her out to a police station or something, and stays with her until family arrives. In her emotional state, she starts sobbing and he becomes a sort of impromptu shoulder to cry on.
Even though the two of them feel no love for each other, they are somehow bonded by the unusual situation and a relationship develops over the years, wherein she eventually marries him largely thanks to the obligation she feels.
Over the time the marriage would face trials, a large one being the fact that she has stuggles with feelings she has for one of leatherface’s victims.
The movie could span from the seventies to as far as present day, with historical events playing against the back-drop.
While I think this is an interesting idea, my favorite thing about it is the way it would baffle audiences and critics enter a movie titled “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4,” and then see that.June 11, 2012 at 1:25 am #25328
Men of the Hood —
Cuba Gooding Junior plays Tre Styles, now an Atlanta-area housing attorney recently in a strained marriage to his high-school sweetheart Brandi. Tre is helping an elderly woman fight a foreclosure process and comes into contact with her grandson Diego, who is involved with a local gang. Thinking that the boy needs a male role model like his father was for him, Tre attempts to get close to Diego, only to find horrible reminders of his youth in south central LA and emotional strain at finding these problems still so entrenched in his community, right under his nose. The trauma of re-exposure to this life triggers depression and anxiety in Tre, whose marriage to Brandi fails as he goes deeper into Diego’s world in an attempt to “save” him – but who is he trying to save? And is he too late?June 12, 2012 at 10:36 am #25331
I’d like to see something to follow Be Kind Rewind now the very last video shops are surely dead, possibly involving Hipsters ironically watching things on VHS/Sweded things and Jack Black, Danny Glover and Mos Def all doing their best to do something completely different.June 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm #25467
Rushmore 2: Max Fischer for PresidentJune 20, 2012 at 10:26 pm #25475
Snakes on a Plain: Samuel L. Jackson returns for Snakes on a Plain, but dies in the first 10 minutes to pull a Kangaroo Jack, in that the rest of the movie is a documentary on the endangered King Cobra (i would say narrated by the Honey badger guy, but then I would have to murder myself).July 8, 2012 at 10:09 pm #25574
Actually, Lee, Warner Bros. was planning a sequel to Casablanca, titled “Brazzaville”. A plot summary was written by Frederick Stephani, co-writer and director of the 1936 Flash Gordon serial. It would have undone a lot of the original story: Rick was a secret agent; his morally ambiguous past was a cover story. Louis had been a secret agent for the Free French the whole time, and together they try to infiltrate a Nazi spy ring in Tangiers. Rick’s attempts to seduce a vixen Spanish collaborator are complicated by the return of Ilsa, because Victor Laszlo dies early in the movie. eventually the Spanish lady takes a bullet to save Rick, Louis and Rick break the sppy ring, and Rick and Ilsa live happily ever after.September 1, 2012 at 1:58 am #26047
I’d love to see a sequel to “28 Weeks Later.” I mean, they would have to make the plotline more interesting than just another breakout of disease, but i would love for there to be a “28 Months Later” and a “28 Years Later.”
Another one I’d really love to see is a sequel to “Inception.” The film makers did such a great job with the film that i would enjoy sitting down and learning more about what could happen in our dreams.
I’ve also been waiting forever for a sequel to “The Incredibles.” The animation rocks and they left the audience with an ending that could turn into a sequel, but they never did. I’ve always wondered why especially when Shrek has four sequels.
I have so many that i think deserve sequels. Haha. “Push” would be a great one for a continuation. I want to find out if the bad guy actually gets shot and how their powers progress.December 3, 2012 at 12:24 pm #27183
Of course a Fifth Element 2!December 15, 2012 at 5:15 pm #27286
May be too recent:
How to Train Your Dragon – probably some new type of dragon attacks, and hickup sees it, but for some reason no one believes him.
Stardust – they talk about their children and grandchildren. By the time they leave it is about the modern day, so have the family that has been holed up in stormhold until the modern day have some son or daughter get involved with someone from modern times.December 17, 2012 at 4:08 pm #27329
A sequel to the Avengers where lawyers for the Feds, City, and S.H.I.E.L.D., including for each of the Avengers, duke it out with a bunch of high-end plaintiff’s attorneys seeking damages for both personal and property damage. There are tense courtroom scenes, testimony by each Avenger that could show, and arguments about sovereign immunity, takings, personal jurisdiction, and damage caps.
It ends with Bruce Banner getting angry in the courtroom and smashing everything until the plaintiffs’ attorneys agree to drop the case, a la Ghostbusters 2.December 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm #27332
The problem is how anyone proves specific damages were due to the avengers and not due to the aliens. It is kind of hard to collect from the aliens since they all dropped dead, but I would very like to see someone try to serve Thanos.
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