Board Game Movie Adaptation Pitches
May 14, 2012 at 11:28 am #25041
Battleship is coming out this weekend. Clue’s already been done and apparently is being remade. Candyland, Ouija, Monopoly, and Risk are all said to be in the works. (We made an awesome Ouija Michael Bay movie poster a while back, too.)
What other board games should be made into movies? Or really shouldn’t, but would make a good snarky pitch?May 14, 2012 at 2:51 pm #25042
First off, I’d like to put the Shoe on the other foot and say that I’d like to see Jumanji as an actual game.
Now, as for board game pitches: Mouse Trap is the story of a few rats with a love for cheese. The promblem is they’re trapped in a sadist’s lab. And he/she owns a cat(s). Good fodder for a Saw parody.
Chess consists of standard medieval fare. Two opposing Kings battle for each others kingdoms.
Trivial Pursuit is about a (wo)man’s quest for knowledge, one that leads them around the world in search of what one needs to know for a full and happy life. An “Eat Pray Love” type of deal, but more of an intellectual character drama that explores human nature and why we do things we do.
Guess Who? is the riveting romantic comedy about to star crossed lovers living in private schools situated across from each other. The girl attempts to communicate via paper airplane. The guy gets the note but can’t make out the address. He can’t remember her face enough to pick hers out of the many staring out through the windows. A paint by numbers comedy, possible commentary about control over kids in school, or as Calvin and Hobbes’ Calvin would say “Studies in State Sponsored Communism”.
Mad Gab is about a man with a terrible disease, a combination of autism and dyslexia. The boy is also stricken with a hare lip. The wrong words are always said, and not clear. A concerned social worker becomes the only one who can understand him completely and attempts to help him function in society as well as raise awareness for his condition, but they are passed off as a “Disease of the week” media frenzy that everyone will forget about. Together they endure the harshness that the world throws at them. A hurt/comfort drama about a stretched to the limits medical profession including the need for Doctors and Nurses and President Obama’s Healthcare bill.
Snakes and Ladders is either a Indiana Jones-esque adventure or an Anaconda-type horror film. Both factor in snakes heavily, but I don’t have a shagging clue how to include ladders. If snakes were changed to chutes as they often are, I actually have nothing for that.
Apples to Apples is about a (wo)man with a gift for connections between seemingly unconnected things. Then, his skills are required in some bizarre end-of-the-world scenario, kind of like Nicolas Cage in Knowing. A tense thriller, no themes or anything special to it.
Settlers of Catan. Too obvious. An old-timey soap opera type drama about pioneering sailers who have discovered the island of Catan.May 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm #25079
I cant take any credit for this but it gave me a good chuckle.
I would love to see Cluedo done as a Kafkaesque meditation on guilt and justice in which the ‘facts’ of the case are rearranged exactly as the investigators need them.May 15, 2012 at 12:14 pm #25080
Ticket to Ride is a bittersweet period drama about the perserverence of the rail industry after World War II when Automobiles, and years later, jetliners start to become more accomodating modes of passenger travel. You’ve got your plot right here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_United_States_railway_history. It would follow a man who worked his way into becoming a train engineer only to see his life’s passion slowly fade away before him. Taking place between 1930 and 1960.
Twister is an interesting case because it would be almost impossible to market it under it’s name because of the Paxton/Hunt movie, Twister. It would have to be “Hasbro Games’ Twister”, but that doesn’t have the right ring to it. Anyway, “Hasbro Games’ Twister” could be another Saw type movie/parody a la Mouse Trap (above) about the limits the human body can be STRETCHED to, but I would prefer to see a romance film about the love between circus contortionists.
When I think of Hungry Hungry Hippos, all I see is a Micheal Chrichton-esque technology horror. “Bugs” used to clean parasites out of Hippo’s stomaches are working but with a side effect. The bug starts rapidly digesting the Hippo’s food. The Hippos must keep eating more and more to survive, and the human research team is right around the corner. Tagline: SOMETIMES, MARBLES JUST WON’T CUT IT.
Need proof? Here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippopotamus#Aggression
Jenga is the story of a building project gone wrong. When a building starts to tip dangerously because of poor construction, the whole block is closed down, and the people inside must be rescued. There is a way to solidify the bottom, if at least for a little while. The only problem is that the only readily available building materials are being used for an extension to add three floors to the building.
Mastermind follows a cop who tries to stop a man from robbing casinos or something. After a struggle with the villain, our cop hero suffers from spontaneous color blindness, something I half made up, and must attempt to solve the villian’s color based puzzles before it’s too late.
Operation is a short film about a wartime nightmare when a Prisoner of War is returned to his allies. He is fine, except that he has a bomb strapped inside his chest. Doctors must try and remove it without banging it around too much, or severing any arteries inside the man’s body.May 15, 2012 at 1:14 pm #25082
Dungeon! The board game by the makers of D&D. Uwe Bolle. Nuff said.
Ouija: The Movie would be a remake of “Witchboard”. (Or Paranormal Activity?)
Will Hasbro change the game mechanics of Battleship to better reflect the movie? A game based on a movie based on a game?May 15, 2012 at 11:24 pm #25095
Can we all remember to check back on this thread 5 years from now? I’m calling it now that Hollywood will release a movie that closely resembles one of these pitches within the next 5 years.May 16, 2012 at 12:58 am #25096
How do we know they’re not reading our pitches RIGHT NOW?!
Scrabble – Let’s go with the tagline from the 1980s tv game show version–”Every man dies; not every man truly Scrabbles.”–and make it an action/adventure, a la National Treasure. A guy grows up playing the board game with his grandfather, who often rambles incoherently about “the biggest game there ever was”. After the grandfather dies, the guy discovers his journal, full of detailed stories about traveling the world and finding letters with numbered subscripts in all kinds of exotic locations. It turns out he had discovered a worldwide game of Scrabble between two evil geniuses (or aliens?) who were harming/killing a lot of people in order to carry it out. With some investigation, our hero finds the game is still going on, and about to reach an earth-shattering climax! Will he find the words to save the day?May 16, 2012 at 12:56 pm #25097May 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm #25098
-A mad genius has imprisoned 4 teams of hostages in an underground warehouse where they are forced to complete various team-based puzzles and mind games or face a brutal lobotomy. A lone detective must decipher the cryptic taunts left behind like “zelpuz” and “gnilleps”. It’s a race against time before the hapless victims lose their CRANIUM.May 17, 2012 at 12:38 am #25099
Lars Von Trier’s _Stratego_ is a paradigm-shattering work of filmic genius. A lone male figure in a high 19th century military hat, known only as “3″, stares at a red figure, his back turned. They stand apace on a battlefield of a forgotten war — no one knows who is fighting or why. And it is all stillness. Through a series of dissociative noise montages and abstract emotive light-work, Von Trier paints “3″ history, life, and intrinsic meaning — or his aspirations to such, or his place in the historical dialectic, as ponders whether to reach out to the stranger. Slowly, “3″ reaches out his hand, and the red figure turns around…
SPOILER: It’s a bomb and he dies.May 17, 2012 at 1:09 pm #25105
UsernameTed, Chutes and Ladders is a horror/thriller film in the vein of Cube, or any other movie where a group of people try to escape a labyrinth of some sort.
Similarly, Mousetrap is basically the second half of the inevitable Mockingjay movie.
Candyland is the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland…but with candy.
Taboo is a heist thriller, much like Inside Man, where a team of thieves infiltrate a bank and communicate with their man/woman on the outside through code words disseminated through news coverage.May 19, 2012 at 1:51 am #25123
At the risk of overusing perhaps my only original material. Take the next WWII movie and slap the name Axis and Allies on it.
Outside of that, board games movie either need to be appealing to the nostalgia of the Transformer’s generation or just sucker in the kids.
Who are we kidding, they have now moved into the ironic territory only to be seen at film festivals (as if they could get the rights).
Tensions run high in a meeting of the crime families of New York. War is on the brink, and a network of police informants are the only thing that is stopping the streets from running with blood. They need to pass critical details to each other at a round table without tipping off the families. The catch? The mob has been tipped off, and no one leaves the table until heads have rolled. When When you take away the game, there is only “Taboo”.
A man stops in the rain to help a blind beggar. When he stops for gas, he finds the hitchhiker gone, and in his place are his begging tin and a set of 5 hand carved dice. When a young woman swerves into his lane in a fatal accident, the dice spill out as perfect 6s, returning her to life. Unable to understand what has happened, he brings her home and together they discover the mystic power of fate the dice contain. Be warned though, eventually the roles must stop, their only hope, is “Yahtzee”.
Influential Senator Jane Addler is all ab out work until she loses her voice in an “accident” after she pushes too hard against organized crime. Unable to work, she must learn to live a more wholesome… Screw it, just make a Saw knockoff where victims have their vocal cords removed, and can only communicate to each other how to escape their situations by live webcam feed. Mentally scarred, perhaps it is normal life that is the “Charade”
I don’t know how to spin it, but I think that Sudoku the Movie could be the great mirror for our generation.May 22, 2012 at 1:57 pm #25139
Tracy Morgan. Martin Lawrence.
“This Pop-O-Matic Trouble™ just got *real*.”May 25, 2012 at 2:15 pm #25218
From the producers of “Battleship”, and the director of “Human Centipede” comes the ultimate in gross-out horror: Connect Four!May 25, 2012 at 7:54 pm #25220May 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm #25228
The Mouse Trap movie was essentially already made in 1997 with Nathan Lane: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119715/ I saw it in the theater. I was 10. It wasn’t that good…
Pictionary is a buddy-cop movie. Two police sketch artists compete against each other in everything they do (work, romance, etc.) but when the captain teams them up for a job neither one wants, they discover something much bigger. When one of them is kidnapped by the villain, they are only allowed to communicate via crudely-drawn pictures. Can they put their differences aside and work together to bring down the Crayola Killer?
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