So waaaay back in February, I mused over the scene in Raiders where Indy apparently stows away on a Nazi submarine.

What is going on here? Are we meant to believe that Dr. Jones somehow snuck onto the sub, found a hiding place, and stayed unnoticed for however long the trip to Secret Nazi Island was? In the comments of the original post, some people assumed that the u-boat just cruised on the surface the whole time. It’s true that we never actually see the thing go underwater. However, in my sub movie experience, the only time you hear that klaxon is when you’re preparing to dive.

At the time, the Sub Controversy remained unresolved. But part of Overthinking™ is continuing to think about something well beyond the point at which any reasonable person has moved on. And recently, I had an epiphany: what the hell are those guys saying?

[Though it was originally written before we recorded the Indiana Jones podcast, and though these positions of the author were more or less covered in that discussion, we are presenting here Matthew Belinkie's original musings on Indy 4. They are, if nothing else, of historical interest. --Ed.]

My freshman year of college, I was really really excited about Star Wars: Episode 1. I bought a plastic lightsaber. I tuned into MTV for the premiere of the “Duel of the Fates” music video. Downloaded all the trailers, including the TV spots. And then I went to see it on opening day… and I claimed to love it. Lord help me, I came out of that theater and said I was totally satisfied.

Of course, that state of denial didn’t last long. Gradually, over the next year, after seeing it again and talking to others, I had to admit the movie was a huge disappointment. But initially, I wanted it to be good so much that I just couldn’t bring myself to admit that it wasn’t.

I’m not going to make that same mistake now. As much as I wanted a fourth amazing Indiana Jones adventure to add to the other three I have memorized, Crystal Skull doesn’t cut it. Here’s some of my initial gripes.