Matthew Belinkie, Ryan Sheely, and Matthew Wrather overthink the 2008 Summer Olympics.

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Okay, sorry for my time away sports fans. Let’s pick up where we left off.

In the last two posts, I’ve discussed the inversion at the heart of sports movies — how the screen serves as a window and a mirror, telling a story in opposition to a viewer’s expectations and perspective. Rookie of the Year is about a kid who’s bad at baseball, Major League is about how serious our National Pastime is, and Necessary Roughness, it turns out, is a fairly frivolous movie intended for leisure that’s pleasant and easy to watch—that is, neither Necessary, nor Rough (nor an Empire, which if you ask me is a damned shame).

And there’s my segue. Guys in green shirts. more »

Aside from ethnic stereotyping that didn’t even skirt the issue (Mariachis are sexy! Indians are crass capitalists! Chinese are pandas!), there was an overriding theme to this year’s Super Bowl ads. It started with the Audi Godfather spot.

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WARNING: UNSURPRISING SPORTS MOVIE SPOILERS

I have a secret for you. The kid in the picture is the greatest pitcher who ever lived.

In fact, breaking his arm made him a better pitcher. Tons better. Not practice, not genetics, not HGH, but a freak accident, breaking his arm.

What, you don’t believe me? more »

When somebody gets hit in the nuts in a baseball movie, it is customary to laugh. When the plucky underdog wins in a baseball movie, it is customary to cry.

Back in my days as a Real World, Non-Movie Little League catcher, the opposite was often the case, let me tell you. Except that I very rarely won the big game, especially when I played for the plucky underdog.

Nut violence notwithstanding, it is abundantly clear that the famous Tom Hanks line from A League of Their Own is patently and deliberately false. more »