Yes, the author is a huge dork. Now you have visual proof.

This Halloween, I fulfilled one of my lifelong ambitions by constructing my own Terminator costume. However, at my office party, only about half of my co-workers correctly identified me as a Terminator upon first glance. Most guessed “robot.”

They will be the first to be co-opted by Skynet. Robot? A Terminator is no mere robot.

My fellow Overthinkers: I know we’re facing economic and foreign policy crises in our world, but this shocking inability to recognize a hunter-killer cyborg from the future needs our full and immediate attention. We need a Terminator Awareness Campaign, and it starts now.

Skynet –

Really excited to be working on the project! The Terminator line has been a tremendous success since its introduction, inspiring strong feelings of terror and hopelessness in our core demo (humans), and this new model ups the ante on all fronts. I’m a robot, and I’m scared of the thing!

First of all, kudos on having the savvy to round the model number up to 1000. Humans go nuts over powers of ten. However, I wonder if the whole “T plus a number” thing isn’t getting a little stale. Recall that the classic T-101 model became known as “Arnold” for some reason. If we don’t christen this new product something memorable, the humans will, and do you really want your $3 billion baby being called “Stabby McStabsalot?” Judgment Day wiped out a lot of things, but not the importance of branding.

Okay, let’s get into it! Here are three possible naming strategies: