The Secular Xmas season starts earlier every year–I swear I heard bells jingling over the mall PA at the beginning of November. Pretty soon Santa will be out on Labor Day, welcoming kids back to school.

If you’re like us, you aren’t busy today running from big box store to big box store, over-consuming as many goods as the rapidly expanding trade imbalance will allow. You’re on the computer, googling for ever more obscure pop cultural ephemera and wondering if you should change out of your pajamas.

So join us around our metaphorical Festivus pole, and see what the Overthinkers™ overthink you overwant this holiday season. (Oh, and we get a kickback when you buy these things–or, for that matter, buy anything–when you go to Amazon after clicking on our links. Sneaky, huh?)

Let’s shop.