This one was inspired by the five Trapped in the Closet episodes all at once. I started thinking about other pieces of video that shared a soundtrack, and could potentially be synced up. So here you go - the closing montages to Love Actually and Boogie Nights. Take it away, Brian Wilson:

So recently, I’ve been seeing a poster for Journey to the Center of the Earth every day on the way to work, and it’s making me uncomfortable. Check it out.

She’s going to die, isn’t she?

She is literally in the process of falling to her death. There’s a rope that may or may not be dangling within her reach. But considering she’s probably already fallen thirty feet or so, she’d have only milliseconds to grab it, and she doesn’t appear to be reaching. Not to mention, I’d guess the rock she’s clinging to is rotating towards that top of the frame, away from the rope.

Of course, it’s possible - nay, likely - that there’s some sort of glowing subterranean river down there, and Cute Female Explorer will land safely, with a big 3-D splash.

But I think what really freaks me out is the blank stare they all have. Nobody looks nervous, excited, or even aware of each others’ existences. They all look like they’re waiting for the photo shoot to begin.

The interesting part is, the poster seems to capture the movie a little better than the filmmakers would like. See how Brendan Fraser seems unaware his love interest is falling to her death? Well, the review from the Village Voice says:

Fraser… has completely forgotten how to speak to other actors; it no longer looks like the guy’s reading from cue cards, but shouting from them.

In other words, the movie is exactly as artificial as the poster would suggest. On the other hand, I’m betting the girl lives.

The film composer Howard Shore has written an opera. It is an adaptation of one of the movies he did the music for. However, it’s probably not the one you’d expect/hope. Here’s a list of operatic movies Howard Shore has scored, that are NOT the movie in question: The Lords of the Rings, The Departed, The Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia, The Aviator, and The Gangs of New York.

Instead, Howard Shore looked back upon his body of work, and decided The Fly really needed to be an opera. And there’s a photo after the jump. more »

So we have no reason to believe Mutt Williams has any globe-trotting experience whatsoever. He’s a motorcycle repair-guy/greaser. When he sees a scorpion in the cemetery, he reacts with an “I’m a city mouse” look of horror. Anyway, 45 minutes later, Indy and Company are trying to escape the Ruskies, when he and Marion get caught in quicksand. They tell Mutt to go find something to pull them back up. And what does he bring?

A giant, giant snake. Which he somehow knows is not poisonous.

Perhaps he once found a snake like that inside the transmission of a motorcycle, and learned all about it? Or perhaps his gang is known as “The Snakes,” and each member had to research his own personal snake nickname (a la Kill Bill)?

Can you sense my disdain for this sloppy, sloppy film?

My guess is, they really wanted a hilarious scene where Indy is afraid of a snake, and they were too lazy to figure out a better way to do it. But it’s okay, because the scene was so very funny. Oh wait, it wasn’t. I’m going to go lie down.