[This weekend, we're pleased to bring you two Star Trek related guest posts, this first by André Callot. As always, let us know what you think!]

Eyes, why should you see light who have shown me nothing but darkness? The unrelenting black of space, and also the metaphorical darkness of wanting to bone my mom.

JJ Abrams does not want to have sex with his mother.

I am sure that Mrs. Abrams is a lovely woman, and Gerry Abrams (JJ’s dad) is a very lucky man with nothing to worry about.

In this universe.

But somewhere, in a parallel world where Jim Kirk listens to the Beastie Boys and 9/11 never happened, JJ Abrams has murdered his father, married his mother and is right now wandering around Burbank with a white cane and a pair of dark sunglasses.

No, not really. JJ Abrams seems to worry about that, though.

Fringe and the new Star Trek both spring out of daddy issues. Nothing new about that. Hamlet, Robin Hood and Jesus Christ have benefitted from the power of the story of Oedipus: a story that, according to psychoanalytic theory, is so close to the male psyche that we are compelled, as a sex, to re-enact it over and over again forever.

Whoosh!  Zap!  Pyoo pyoo pyoo!  Zwonnnng.

No, I’m not a elementary-aged child running around the playground while ODing on sugar packets and orange juice.  I’m just reminding myself of Star Trek’s wonderful sound effects from over the years.  We always remember Trek for its lovable characters, its often-hokey but always effective sets and special effects, and its idealistic vision of the future.

Today, though, we at Overthinking It’s Think Tank are going to focus on what really made Trek Trek: the zips, zaps, zoops, and that “Woo! Woo! Woo!” sound the ship always made when Kirk called for red alert. Who ever said space was silent?

Read them all and vote for your favorite at the end.