So last May (that’s May 2007), Matt “Call Me the Webmaster” Wrather and I were taking in The Coast of Utopia, a trilogy of plays by Tom Stoppard. It covers the part of Russian history most people don’t know a lot about — between when Catherine the Great had sex with a horse and when Animal Farm picks up.
So anyway, during one of the intermissions, I was sort of free-associating, as is my wont. And like an apple hitting me on the head (see how I’m referring both to Newton and orchards?) I realized that Tobey Maguire is in both Spider-Man and The Cider House Rules. And that Spider and Cider rhyme. And then I knew I was doomed. I was going to have to do something about it.
So here you go, internet. The Spider House Rules.
I don’t really expect it to get watched that much, since The Cider House Rules isn’t that well-known. But as long as you guys are impressed, I will not have sat through the terrible 1992 Michael Caine thriller Blue Ice in vain (I needed him holding a gun).
Wrather is joined by Belinkie, Fenzel, Shechner, and Stokes to rate Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull on a 5-whip scale. (Spoiler alert: The movie earns a “whip it”, but not a “whip it good.”)
I find some things funny by virtue of my singular personality and strange sense of humor. Other things I find funny because they are actually awesome. If you’ve been reading this week, you know that I could Lasagna Cat by Fatal Farm as one of the latter.
Today’s joke that we beat to death comes from Lasagna Cat 04/08/1998 (this is the date the original comic ran). And it’s a visual gag:
The above frame is hilarious. If you don’t get it, that’s a shame, but dont’ despair! You’ll get my full breakdown, and the full video, after the jump. more »
[Continuing Terminator Week, Matthew Belinkie imagines how John Connor's decision to send Reese back to 1984 might have come about. You'll hear this radio-drama enacted on our Terminator Week podcast, "How to Survive a Terminator Attack," to be released this Friday. —Ed.]
John: Are you sure, Walter? That’s an actual working time machine?
Walter: (he speaks in a “nerd” voice) I’m afraid so, Mr. John Connor. It looks as if, the Terminator is on its way back to May 12, 1984.
Reese: What? That’s years before Judgment Day. Why then?
John: I know why, Reese . It’s nine months before I was born.
Reese: Oh my God! That machine is going to impregnate your mother!
