At one point in The Return of the King, Gandalf tells Pippin:

Sauron has yet to reveal his deadliest servant. The one who will lead Mordor’s armies in war. The one they say no living man can kill. The Witch King of Angmar. You’ve met him before. He stabbed Frodo at Weathertop. He is the lord of the Nazgul, the greatest of the Nine.

And I thought to myself, “Oh, you mean that dude they chased away with a torch?”

Everyone in these movies talks about the Nazgul like they’re Jason, the Terminator, and Anton Chigurh rolled into one. As far as I can tell, they are pretty much useless. In fact, I think Sauron would have been better off sending a labradoodle, and I’m going to prove it.

[The series by Matthew Belinkie continues. —Ed.]

The Movie: Sin City

Why It Strains Credulity:

Rourke is a professional boxer. And I don’t mean that he’s a professional boxer in the way that Russell Crowe is a professional musician. Rourke actually quit acting for a while to concentrate fully on boxing. He has been arrested for spousal abuse, and once gave a drug dealer a concussion.

Elijah Wood is a hobbit with the cheekbones of a little girl. According to Wikipedia, he smokes clove cigarettes. In fact, Elijah Wood may be the single least intimidating person in Hollywood, and that includes Dakota Fanning.

Special Bonus Implausibility: Elijah Wood’s character wears a Charlie Brown shirt.