Graphic courtesy of the photoshop-savvy Mr. Lee

Michael Bay has been contracted by Hasbro to create a movie version of the Ouija board. I don’t know quite what to expect… a PG-13 horror version of Jumanji only with %100 more explosions and %100 less Robin Williams? Bad Boys II, but instead of fighting crime, Detectives Lowrey and Burnett just push a planchette around for two hours? (“It’s moving, it’s moving!” “Okay, T… H… I… S… S… H… I… T… J… U… S… T… G… O… T… R… E… A… L.” “Daaamn, Gina, we so haunted.”)

One things for sure, though: I’m expecting it to suck. Don’t get me wrong: I like Michael Bay. (Yeah, yeah, you’re revoking my overthinking license, whatever. Explosions are rad. Deal with it.) I just don’t see how this is going to be anything other than a catastrophe.

Below the jump: Five board game themed movie pitches that would be better than the Michael Bay Ouija film, plus Ouija boards as a film trope throughout history.