How can you write a post titled For Love or Money and not even once reference For Love or Money?

Now, I’m equating “career” with “money” above. However, if the job is more about personal fulfillment or making a difference in the world, then compromises should be made in real life, but again the movies usually have to end up on one side or the other.

Just kidding about that last part… I put it in there to annoy Wrather.

Seriously, though, I had a career I quite liked when I met and fell in love with my wife. I moved to be with her, and have not been able to find a stable job in the field since. Do I regret my choice? Not one little bit.

Now, our life hasn’t quite played out like in the movies, but I’ll likely end up a barrista or the equivalent next year, which will put my post graduate degrees to great use, I’m sure. I suppose I could move to another state where I’m more likely to find work in my chosen field, but that would mean not being near my wife.

So in at least one case, life is actually sorta like the movie. The difference being that in the movie, when the career person gives up their career as a lawyer or investment banker, they find a DIFFERENT fulfilling career as a teacher or a park ranger. I gave UP a career as a teacher, and will probably end up with a McJob. So I guess there is some difference there.

You have chosen, in my opinion, fairly awful examples of the true love/romcom genres. But leaving that aside, I will address those examples.

The Devil Wears Prada: I may be biased from having read the mediocre book but I think the struggle here is separate from love and career. It is about how much the main character is willing to do to achieve her ends. By returning to her boyfriend in the end (which does not happen in the book) she is still pursuing a career, and arguably more effectively (instead of hoping magazine editor lackey will launch her into her chosen career).

Pyramus and Thisbe: They ignored their parents’ disapproval.
Twelfth Night: Viola defies societal norms and risks dishonor.
And given one of the possible origins of Twelfth Night, these stories are less about dropping everything for love and more about pursuing a relationship that is being blocked by society after it has already blossomed.

I’m wandering awkwardly to a point, which is…perhaps it isn’t Career vs. True Love but more of a Societal Perception vs. True Love.

“First, it’s a false dichotomy. Someone who truly loves you should be able to accept the job you work in.”
-I think often it’s less about the person you love being able to accept the job you work in and the strain of being able to sustain the level of success in work and a healthy relationship simultaneously. These characters usually are businesspeople, architects…not tea cozy knitters. They opt for jobs that are less taxing but don’t necessary mean they fall into financial hardship or aren’t pursuing careers they enjoy. These significant others are similar to the “manic pixie dreamgirls” who change the protagonist’s life for the better.

Hate to say it, but as for the divorce statistics, not everyone who gets married is in love. Minor point.

Shakespeare in Love: It seems to be much more about conforming to society’s norms, expectations, and notions of honor than choosing career over love. One could also see her as making a sacrifice for his career…but then wouldn’t that mean choosing love because she chose unhappiness to protect him and allow him to pursue his career?

Thank you for reading all of my rambling.

The reason that the Love vs. Career persists, unfortunately, is not worth overthinking. It’s easy, Hollywood-style. It’s a formula that we can obviously see that makes money as we have shown. The career is the antagonist that everyone can relate to, easy to hate. There is a boss that plays to type that everyone can relate to. We connect quickly with the protagonist, trying to make a living and usually raise a child as a man, or trying to maintain my esteem/independence/success as a woman. The protagonist is offer a conflict that we can all root for and all know they’ll succeed at. Easy fight, easy winner, easy warm fuzzies.

That’s pretty compelling! Good stuff.