Alien (vaginas) (Shana)
Today I shall endeavor to use literary analysis, both traditional and postmodern, to prove to you that the facehuggers in the Alien franchise symbolize the female genitalia. First, let me find my book on New Criticism so I can quote you some T.S. Eliot and—
OH MY FUCKING GOD IT’S A VAGINA WITH LEGS
All right, so its pretty obvious that the facehuggers are supposed to be vaginas: scary, gross vaginas that want to attach themselves to your face so you have to, like, taste them. Which is super-gross. Am I right, guys?
And here’s the scariest part of all: in space, vaginas impregnate you! It’s a world gone mad. Mad, I say! Luckily for you mens, there’s an Anti-Vagina living in the Alien universe, and her name is Ellen Ripley. Ripley truly is the ideal woman: when she’s not sleeping, which is often, she’s traipsing around in skimpy undergarments:
or carrying around giant phallic symbols:
Even though she’s super-hot eye-candy, Ripley never actually has sex with anyone, because that would involve someone touching her vagina, and vaginas are super-icky. I mean, look at this thing:
ACK GROSS. Thank God Ripley doesn’t have one of those.
Ripley becomes even more ideal a woman in the second movie, Aliens, when she gets to be a mother—without actually bearing a child! Thus:
Sweet. Why sweet? It’s sweet, because we want our women to be effective, badass mamas, but we don’t actually want them to birth the damn kids. That would be gross. Remember, everyone, vaginas are icky. And scary! Did I mention scary? LOOK AT IT:
I shudder. The world… shudders.
I must admit, I haven’t seen Alien 3, and I’ve blocked Alien Resurrection out of my memory. But I’m hoping the filmmakers, and even Ripley, herself, learned to accept the beauty of the female form. Perhaps Ripley and the Alien Queen joined forces to establish some sort of futuristic eco-feminist collective to take down the Weylan-Yutani Corporation and help humans and Aliens coexist peacefully. And maybe they developed some kind of facehugger abortion technique to preserve a man’s right to choose if he wants a baby alien bursting out of his chest and killing him. I hope so, because Oh! what a glorious, vagina-loving future that will be.
Loading ...
“were Alf alive today”
Did I miss something? Like a heartbreaking series finale perhaps?
Awesome post.
“Overthinking it” is right.
I hope this is a put-on, but i’m terribly afraid it isn’t.
Of all of these exigeses, the most ludicrous is the one of “Alien”.
Ripley was originally male in the script.
Sigourney Weaver was just so good that they cast her as Ripley, with no real changes in script. (Likelou Gossett in “An Officer and a Gentleman”, a part written assuming the actor would be white.)
A small mistake: Ripley does have sex with the prison’s doctor in Alien 3…
Star Trek: First Contact
The Borg as AIDS (or any virus, for that matter).
Do not forget about Enemy Mine. It may have taken place 100 or so years in the future, but the movie was clearly about racism. Jerry may have been a Drak, but come on, he was really black. Not only are the Draks used as slaves, but Jerry is portrayed by Lou Gossett Jr.
Great movie.
@Chris — speaking of AIDS, have you seen our article on Ghostbusters 2 and the HIV Virus?
http://www.overthinkingit.com/2009/06/12/and-the-ghosts-busted-on-ghostbusters-and-the-aids-crisis/
Predator as an ANTI-hunting film. Think about it–many of the animals we hunt for sport lack sufficient color definition, so that we can wear day-glo overalls and yet somehow melt into the background. Its weaponry is vastly superior to our own, yet it pursues those with the biggest ‘guns’, because they might just pose a threat. It even records the sounds the prey makes, and repeats them when it wants to attract other prey (a duck call). Predator 2 reinforces this view, with the alien allowing the pregnant cop to go free–wouldn’t want to screw up future gaming stock. In short, it’s about how fundamentally unfair the current state of game hunting is. At the same time, though–an animal can get in one lucky shot every now and then, and turn the tables.
You mentioned you haven’t seen Alien: Resurrection. Too bad, your breakdown of the sexuality of the aliens would’ve benefitted a lot from that movie, since it’s the most obvious deconstruction of sex and femininity in the series.
Actually, Ripley had a child on earth who was awaiting her return from the voyage of the Nostromo in the first film. In the second movie, she finds out that her daughter has died of complications from old age while she was in hibernation, which is what makes her adoption of Newt at the colony in Aliens so touching, and is what makes her plight in Alien 3 and 4 take on deeper weight.
Seriously, I get the joke you’re trying to make about woman parts, but your research is severely lacking. If you’re going to really be “overthinking it”, you really need to be “minimally researching it” at the same time.
The Jaffa in Stargate as a metaphor for slavery and oppression. While it would be easy to say they represent black slaves only, simply because Teal’c was black, a deeper examination reveals that they work on many different levels: The American Revolution, the Hebrew Exodus from Egypt, the European resistance against the Nazi regime, and most of all the modern struggles of Iraqis against Saddam Hussein/Afghanis against the Taliban. This last possibility is even more intriguing if you consider that the goa’uld are recognizable as middle eastern to a Western audience (deserts, pyramid ships) and that the Jaffa receive aid from the modern US Air Force in their fight against their ancient oppressors.
Hah, the alien one was funny :P Comparing abortion of a sub-sentient alien killing machine that will murder you in the birthing to abortion of a sentient being with rights of its own is a bit iffy, but the rest of the article was pretty funny and yes, I think everyone’s noticed the facehugger’s rather suggestive mouth parts :D
Oh and to Timothy Toner; that could very well be seen as the purpose of predator. If so, however, it (and your own comments) are pretty heavily flawed. First and foremost because we kill animals to survive, and it is undeniably more humane to hunt than to raise livestock. Livestock are seen as a necessity for modern society, but the lives of the animals themselves are horrible and unnatural, and no doubt confusing and distressing for them as well, to whatever degree they experience such emotions. Being hunted down and killed, however, is the fate that practically every herbivore can expect in its old age, if it manages to make it that far first. It is natural; even hunting by humans with weaponry has been going on long enough to easily be called natural. Every deer or pig or whatever you hunt and kill is one less animal that has to be subjected to the highly unpleasant situation of being held as livestock. Hunting and fishing for your own protein is about the most nature friendly thing a person could do. Not to mention the fact that hunters, hunting organizations, and fees upon hunters do more than every single eco-organization on the face of the Earth to protect wildlife and improve or re-habilitate habitats. The day PETA (those dog murdering hypocrites) and their pals manage to ban hunting is the day American wildlife and wildlife habitats start the march for their graves. About the only space your folks haven’t turned into shopping malls and salons is the space my folks have bought and turned into preserves and conservation land.
So please, calm down the whole anti-hunting thing. It is one of the most brazenly uneducated and hypocritical arguments in history. There’s only one humane way to procure meat and it sure isn’t from the grocery store :P
I’m going to go out on a limb and say the Predator films are pretty pro-Predator. The Predator’s chief trait is that he’s totally awesome. His secondary trait is that he’s an alien. Killing people is a distant third, and most of the people who die in Predator movies are pretty annoying and kind of ask for it.
AVP supports this thesis.
As for AVP:R, if you saw it, tell me what it’s like, because I am amazed at your courage and initiative.
I think Predator comments more on colonialism rather than anti-hunting. You’ve got a technologically superior force invading and reaping trophies from a third-world, tropical landscape while massacring the natives, who in spite of their noble efforts to fight back with their primitive weapons just don’t stand a chance. Various nations have appeared as colonial forces throughout history such as the English, French and, oh, Dutch.
Pete- While I know that AVP and and Predator technically share a franchise, don’t you think it’s rather cruel to relate them like that? It’s like garnishing a Christmas ham with Spam and Baco-bits.
I agree with Timothy Toner.
Bob: In this day and age of technology, hunting is an act of cowardice – using advanced weaponry to kill defenseless nonhumans. If you hunters are such heroes, try “hunting” with no weaponry. Yeah, I thought not.